Pearl's Window

Dear Miss Pearl,

I am the youngest of two children. My sister is 32 years old and I am 18. Our parents have always treated us the same, but as the baby, I have always been able to get away with a little bit more than she has. There was never any real resentment because there is a huge difference in our age. She did her thing and I did mine.

I was recently with some cousins and a younger cousin who is 13 years old said something that changed my whole world. We were arguing and she told me that I need to find out who my "real" mother and father are. When she said that, my aunt (my mother's sister) slapped her so hard that it caused a big fight in the family.

I asked my aunt what she was talking about and she said that she was just trying to make me mad, but I could tell the way everybody was telling my cousin that she was wrong that something was up. When I got home, my mother already knew about the argument, so that told me that it was something up too because why would my aunt tell her what my cousin said if it wasn't big deal?

Mom tried to tell me that it was nothing and I finally agreed since I look JUST like my mom and my sister. Well, later that night, my dad came by the house and after arguing with my mother he finally blurted out that they were not my real parents and my sister is my actual mother. She had me when she was 14 and they raised me as theirs. I am devastated. I feel like my whole life is a lie. The woman I have been calling my sister all of these years is really my mother. I can't believe that they would do that to me.

My sister came by the house with my "niece and nephew" who are now my sister and brother and tried to explain that she had me at a young age and that "they" decided that it would be better if I didn't know and that my parents raised me as their own. I want to go away and never come back. I feel dirty and nasty and I don't know what to do.

How can I get past my hatred for my "parents" and my "sister"? Should I try to find out who my father is?

Briana
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Briana,

It's understandable that you would harbour some resentment and even feel some anger towards your family for keeping this secret away from you, and I can't begin to know why they felt the need to raise you as their own, but if you weren't treated any differently and your family was good to you, then you should at least try to understand their position.

Maybe they felt that giving the responsibility to become a mother to a child, when she was still a child herself, wasn't something that your "sister" was ready for. Maybe your parents, who were already raising one child, took on the responsibility of another one and as your mother began to "mother" you, it just became a natural progression that you would end up being another one of her babies.

I can't say that that's what happened in your situation for sure, but try to understand how much they dealt with on a daily basis wondering when, or if this day would come. Surely they knew that others knew and that it was quite possible that someone would tell you the true circumstances of your birth, and that fear had to be hard for them.

I honestly don't think that you weren't told because they wanted to hurt you, but because the longer it got, the harder it became to tell you the truth.

Other than that, does your sister love you? Do your parents love you? I'm one of those people who believe that if I ever adopted, I would never tell the child the truth because I believe that if I chose that child, then I'm the parent - the end. Of course that's selfish of me, but I can't help who I am. Maybe your parents were a bit selfish in keeping the truth from you, but I don't think they did it to hurt you.

You need to speak to your entire family (mother, father and sister) and discuss getting into some kind of counseling program that is equipped to deal with situations like yours. You won't be able to work through this on your own, and you're not alone because there are many families who deal with this issue. Honestly, you're lucky in that you don't have to wonder who you are, or where you come from. You had the privilege of living in the house with your birth mother every single day of your life.

Should you find your father? Only after you and your family begin the healing process.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com

La Toya Jackson broke her silence regarding her brother Michael’s sudden death, claiming more than one person was involved in trying to kill the pop star for his money.

“We don’t think just one person was involved in the murder,” she told News of the World. “It was a conspiracy to get Michael’s money.”

La Toya talked about the scene at Jackson’s home following his death- confirming reports of needle marks found on his neck and arms. She also mentioned that Jackson himself had voiced concern about his safety, feeling people might kill him for the valuable music catalogues he owns.

“Michael was being inappropriately treated by people who hooked him on drugs,” she added. “Michael was being controlled. No one could get through to him.”

She also said nearly two millions dollars and jewelry kept in Jackson’s home came up missing in the days following his death.

“Someone went in there and did a good job. It was very strange.”

- radaronline

When the gunshots erupted, the man on another bench dove for cover, but Jesselle Page leapt up to protect her 8-year-old grandnephew.

The youngster cast aside the scooter he had been riding in the playground filled with two dozen kids on Friday afternoon. He ran across the playground toward his 44-year-old great-aunt as she ran toward him.

Page took little R.J. in her arms and was turning toward her building when she was hit in the right upper chest by a stray bullet, one in a flurry of shots fired in a dispute at the edge of a nearby parking lot.

This most innocent of bystanders stayed on her feet and continued with the youngster toward 140 Moore St. in the Bushwick/Hyland Houses. She was determined to get him to safety even as her life's blood spattered onto the pavement, brilliant red in the sunshine.

On she went, 10 strides and another 10 and another 10 and another, propelled by a love that was only stronger because she was unable to have children of her own.

She was an absolutely magnificent figure amidst the total horror that so suddenly invaded a perfect summer afternoon.

Only when she reached the lobby and she knew the child was safe did she let go of him and stagger to the left. She slumped against the tiled wall and collapsed to the floor.

The red spatters marked a 40-stride trial of total devotion from where she was hit to where she now lay blank-eyed, more blood pouring from her mouth.

Still more blood covered little R.J., who ran in small, frantic circles, looking at his dying aunt, turning away, coming around and seeing her again and turning away again. His raised hands shook as he cried out:

"Somebody help my aunt! Somebody help my aunt!"

Several grownups brushed past him before a 26-year-old woman known as Nana came up. She put an arm around him as if he were her own child and tried to lead him away. He did not want to leave his great-aunt.

"You can't stand here and look at her like that," Nana recalls telling him. "It's not good for you. I'm going to get somebody to help her."

Several cops ran up, having been close enough to grab a suspected gunman and recover a handgun. They ordered everyone to clear away, including Nana and R.J.

"But he's not my child," Nana said.

The cops repeated the order and Nana complied. Another woman offered use of her cell phone and R.J. rattled off phone contacts.

"He's a little boy, but he knew a lot of numbers," Nana later said.

R.J. first tried to reach his mother, 26-year-old Randi Daniel, who happened to be on the way to pick him up. She was still on an underground stretch of the J train and the call went to her voicemail.

- nydailynews

In listening to the radio the other day there was a debate about whether murdered NFL player Steve McNair was responsible for his death because he put himself into that position by being with a woman who wasn't his wife, and I'm curious to know what you guys think about it.

My personal belief is that Steve was absolutely somewhere he had no business being as he slept in the bed of a woman who wasn't his wife, but on the same token, I don't think that adultery is cause for murder.

Sure, he was dead assed wrong for being with this woman, surely he would probably still be here had he not been in her bed and had honored his wedding vows, but is that offense worthy of death?

Adultery is an issue he has to deal with with his wife and his God, but I don't think the man deserved to be killed.

He did however, put himself into a position to be harmed because he could have been in her bed when another man came to her house and killed them both. So, with that said, I think that he has some responsibility in this situation and is equally responsible for his circumstances.

He wasn't an innocent bystander who was killed waiting on a combo platter in line at a local eatery - he was in the bed of a woman he cheated with and if he hadn't been there, he might still be here.

What's your take? All opinions welcomed.

... Talk amongst yourselves

OK, I get the whole "$ex sells" thing... but why is he totally naked? I guess if women can use their bodies to get to where they want to be, so can he... right?

I know I ain't mad at him. Y'all mad? The show starts July 20th and will appear on VH1.

Review by: Carrington J. Lei
Contact: CarringtonLei@aol.com

Although the title "Kiss & Tail: The Hollywood Jumpoff" with accompanying trailer would lead most to believe that this Thomas Goodson directed and Wendy Williams narrated documentary would give an in depth, behind the scenes view of what really goes on in the world of musicans and video vixens/groupies to voyeuristic minds who have a secret desire to know what's really going on, it simply never happened.

Unfortunately, this film gave little insight into the world of the video girl, instead, giving a retrospective of what most of us already knew - the "industry" hates Karrine "Superhead" Steffans.

I'm not exactly sure why that needed reiterating, but the cynic in me immediately suspects that somewhere, buried deep behind the scenes lies Karrine Steffans herself. After all, the name dropping and YouTube videos blasting someone new each week is pretty much dead and nobody is interested in another "novel" chronicling how, "I screwed everybody's husband" - so logically, what's left to do other than to do a documentary about Karrine Steffans without that documentary being by Karrine Steffans?

With no other explanation as to why this entire thing focused on how Darius McCrary, JaRule, Ma Barker, Bishop Don Juan, porn actor Mr. Marcus and a few others view how Karrine turned the tables and worked the system that worked her - it's the only conclusion I could come to.

I initially sat down thinking that these guys were on to something and expected to be thoroughly entertained by an in depth view on the video chick: Are they all really groupies looking for a good time (and a few dollars)? Are they looking to snag a baller? Who has self respect? Who doesn't? As some suggest, there are many video vixens who use videos as an outlet to get to the next level... and that question was never answered. Where were the girls who have used the money they've made to put themselves through college, or to buy a home? Have any of these girls actually become a success at anything other than shaking their asses for cash? How do their families view what they do for a living? Who regrets what they did?

There were so many opportunities to open the eyes and minds of people who view the women that appear in these videos negatively, and they missed the mark. I walked away feeling like the last person to arrive at the family reunion - my plate was full, but there was no meat.

It wasn't all bad though, besides the fact that the special features section should have been the actual video and vice versa, there were actually a few highlights as Bishop Don Juan imparted his words of wisdom, providing an apathetic hint of comic relief.

Don Juan's most prophetic moment came as he attempted to school the masses on the real goal of women like Karrine Steffans and then cocked his head to the left and, from the right corner of his mouth declared: "They are very trickery..." and it was equally entertaining to watch actor Darius McCrary squirm as he tried to justify being destroyed by a woman he made a personal choice to "wife up" after the rest of the industry had used and disregarded her (not to mention the fact that she had already written two books blasting them). I'm not real sure if he wanted sympathy, or he simply wanted an opportunity to explain himself - but in my house, he failed miserably.

It's possible that this documentary was originally intended to reveal the seedy side of life inside the world of video vixens, but somehow, it ended up becoming a step-by-step tutorial on how to become a successful "hoe" and make enemies along the way.

- Carrington

Thomas Gibson
Kiss & Tail: The Hollywood Jump-Off available in stores and online July 14, 2009
PRE-ORDER here on Amazon.com
One Village / Image Entertainment

I really have no idea why they're still releasing remixes of this song when Letoya has a new single out currently and it's the absolute $hit, but because I know how you bastards love free music, I decided to give you a hit.

This remix is produced by Memphis hit-maker, Drumma Boy.

Link: http://www.zshare.net/audio/6228533236dc7367

NEW ORLEANS — A historically black fraternity has voted to induct former President Bill Clinton as an honorary member.

Phi Beta Sigma President Paul Griffin Jr. said Friday that Clinton is the first U.S. president to be inducted into a historically black fraternity.

The fraternity voted Tuesday for Clinton's induction at its 95th Anniversary Conclave in New Orleans, La.

Stevie Wonder, Al Roker, the Rev. Al Sharpton and jazz musician Ramsey Lewis are also honorary members of Phi Beta Sigma.

Doctors aren't the only ones in the cross hairs of authorities who want to find out how Michael Jackson scored various drugs, including anesthesia -- turns out Jackson knew his way around various dental offices as well.

As we have already reported, medical professionals have told TMZ Jackson was an "anesthesia addict," who would would seek out Propofol and other drugs that would sedate him or knock him out. Law enforcement is aware of this, sources say, and dental offices are part of their investigation.

Several Los Angeles doctors have told TMZ it was known in medical circles that Jackson used dentists to feed his habit.

A story just published in the Las Vegas Review-Journal buttresses the stories that TMZ have been reporting -- that Jackson had "doctor shopping" down to a science. According to the report, in 2003, a doctor (who spoke on the condition of anonymity) was summoned to Jackson's suite at the Mirage in Vegas.

The doctor says Jackson complained of a sore throat and cough and quickly determined it was a ploy to score prescription drugs. The doctor said, "The whole thing was staged. It was all a lie. They just wanted drugs. They wanted me to call in all these pills under someone else's name."

The doctor says when he refused to go along, Jackson's handlers intimidated him, saying doctors always helped the singer. The MD says at one point he said, "I'll see what I can do," and the handler "came up to me and put a finger in my chest and said 'You do that.'"

With that said, it's clear that Michael knew exactly what he was doing, but doctors also have a code of ethics that they have to go by, so the question of the day is, "Are the doctors responsible for Michael's death? Michael was an adult and holds just as much responsibility, or are they both equally responsible and should be held accountable?"

Talk amongst yourselves...

- TMZ

There is something stranger about the way this man leaves these proffesionals in the dust as if they're junior high school amateurs...

Isn't it strange to see Michael dancing to R. Kelly's ignition? I mean, I expect some Liza Minelli or Judy Garland when Mike is riding in the car. LOL

Actor Jamie Foxx reportedly upset Rihanna by embarrassing her in front of revelers at a Las Vegas nightclub.
The actor was cracking jokes for fellow partygoers at Sin City's Tao hotspot when he spotted the R&B star and repeatedly asked her to join him on stage and take the mic.

She refused, and Foxx prompted the DJ to blast out her hit "Umbrella" over the speakers, according to New York Post gossip column Page Six.

Foxx saw the singer preparing to depart and ordered her to stay --- reportedly leaving her "fuming."

A source tells Page Six, "Jamie took over the microphone and started doing a show. Halfway through, he asked Rihanna to join him onstage. Rihanna declined, but Foxx continued to badger her."

When the DJ began to play "Umbrella," the source adds: "That was the last straw. She got up to leave, and Jamie told the DJ to stop the record. (He shouted) 'You can't go while your song is playing. Relax.'

"Rihanna stayed and pretended to enjoy herself, but it was so obvious she was fuming. As soon as the song was over, she got the hell out of there."

- thisis50

 
Wow, I wasn't ready for this. I'm so used to the media portraying him as a jackass, that I wasn't expecting him to actually be this passionate about something.

He just moved up a few notches in my book. He was truly emotional and I believed it!

Despite being the ultimate king of pop after having sold over 61 million albums in the U.S. alone, Michael Jackson died with a debt estimated at around $400 million. Aside from forking over funds to support his lavish lifestyle with private planes, zoo animals, fantasy rides, antiques, hotels and personal staff, court papers from his 2000 divorce with Debbie Rowe also reveal that MJ had a "thing" for cars.

The papers list 75 automobiles registered under Jackson’s name in California, ranging from several Rolls Royce’s to fire trucks to motorcycles to convertibles to Chevys to Mercedes to pick-up trucks. In addition, Rowe was permitted to keep just one car — a 1998 Ford Explorer. The settlement also states that Jackson was to be the sole owner of "all trains" in his possession.

When it came to residences, Rowe was also awarded a house in Beverly Hills, but Jackson not only owned Neverland but three other sprawling properties in California alone. And it seems his trustees now have their work cut out piecing together all his funds — at the time MJ had 16 checking accounts and 5 savings accounts with numerous different Californian banks.

The mystery of a Manhattan mom who disappeared from her office-cleaning job ended with a tragic discovery Saturday: her body in an air conditioning duct, police said.

Eridania Rodriguez's remains were discovered at 8:50 a.m. between the 12th and 13th floors of 2 Rector St. after dozens of cops and sniffer dogs spent a second day searching.

The floor where her body was found is under construction.

A bad smell and missing ceiling tiles made search teams focus on the area, sources said. Shortly after the grisly discovery, police arrived at the family home in Inwood to break the news to Rodriguez's loved ones.

The 46-year-old was last seen alive Tuesday evening.

She was caught on surveillance video around 7 p.m. pushing a cleaning cart into an elevator, sources said.

She spoke with her daughter by telephone around the same time but did not show up for dinner with co-workers at 9 p.m. and was never seen leaving the building.

Her clothes and purse were found in a changing room. Police have questioned a building elevator operator, Joseph Pabon, but no one has been arrested.

Several hours after the discovery, Rodriguez's body was still inside building near Ground Zero while cops waited for crime scene investigators.

- nydailynews

Dear Miss Pearl,

I have a huge problem. My husband is in the military and we live in a different state than both of our families because of where his job stationed him. My brother, who went to jail recently, had custody of his teenage daughter (17) and she didn't have anywhere to go when he got locked up, so I agreed to take custody of her if she wanted to come here because I figured that I could use some family around in this boring city and she could also help me out around the house with the kids.

When she first got here, I was very surprised at how "developed" she had become since I last saw her and I noticed on a couple of occasions that my husband's friends were checking her out. A couple of times, I thought that he was checking her out too, but I let him know that if he even thought about it, he would die a slow and painful death.

Everytime my husbands friends come over with their wives, my niece wants to be in the room with the guys instead of with us or the kids. A couple of wives have made comments about me needing to "watch her around my man" but I just can't believe that my niece would do anything like that.

I talked to a family member from back home and she pretty much told me that my niece was "out of hand" and very sexually active. When I asked her if it was true, she said that she had had sex a couple of times when she was 15, but not anymore. I have noticed that everytime my husband wants to go somewhere, she volunteers to go with him to "get out of the house". I have stopped her from going places with him because I'm getting uneasy feelings about it.

Once, she went to the store with him and came home over an hour after I felt like they should have been home and when my niece came into the house, they both looked guilty and when my niece walked past me, I swear I smelled sex on her. When she went into the bathroom to take a shower, I picked up her underwear and it was clear that she had had sex. I confronted my husband and my niece and they swore that I was crazy.

A couple of times I was in bed and heard them in the living room giggling and laughing and when I came into the room, my niece would go back into her room. I agreed to pay my nieces cell phone bill so she could keep in contact with her friends and the other day, I picked up her bill while she was at work and my husband's phone number was on her phone all times of the day and night when he wasn't at home.

One night, I KNOW she was talking to my husband sounding like she was on the phone with a boy because it was my mother's birthday and I remember telling her to get off the phone at that time because my mom wanted to talk to her before she went to bed. I told my mother that she was on the phone with some boy and, when I checked her phone bill, she was on my the phone with my husband for an hour and fifteen minutes. I confronted them both and ended up having a fight with my niece after she got smart with me.

The last straw was the other night when my husband said that he was going to the club and he pulled out of the garage and I went to sleep. About 30 minutes later, I opened my eyes and sat straight up in my bed. I knew something wasn't right so I tipped downstairs and went to my nieces room and saw a light underneath her door. I listened for a minute and I know I heard her doing oral sex on somebody because I could her her sucking, etc.

I tried to open the door and it was locked, when I listened some more, I heard my husband say, "Damn, girl". I knew his voice, so I beat on the door and threatened to knock it down if she didn't open it, so I went to get a sledge hammer and, after about a minute or two, she opened the door and I could tell that someone had gone out of her window because the curtain was closed in the window and hanging outside.

When I looked through her closet and under her bed, I ran to the door and my husband was walking toward the house and his shirt wasn't in his pants. He tried to tell me that he was coming back because his car broke down. When I asked where his car was, it was JUST around the corner from the house and when I took him to try to get his car (which was a brand new 2009 Maxima) it started right up and was backed into a parking space. So, I asked him how his car backed into a parking space if it wasn't working and he couldn't explain it. Right there, I beat his ass and hers and told her to get her $hit because she was leaving my house.

My husband thinks that I'm overreacting and wants to come home, but I know that he is sleeping with my niece and I don't want him back in my house. Should I let him come back and go into counseling?

The Wife or Other Woman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Wife,

Look, I ain't no psychic, but I can tell you one thing if you're having any doubts... your niece was damn sure f*ckin' your husband!!!! You did what you could do to help her and she didn't want it, so send her a$$ back to wherever she came from and work on you. I'm just glad you're like me and you whooped that a$$ first.

Now, I don't know what the law is as it relates to statutory rape in your state, but I'm sure that at 17, she's probably legal. If not, a &itch like me would have his a$$ locked the f*ck up! You let this $hit get too far, boo boo. You should have listened to your family members who told you that this strumpet was a hoe, but I do understand you wanting to do the right thing in helping your niece out.

Now that you've figured out that some hoes can't be helped, you have to decide if you're going to put her out, but forgive him. They were both dead a$$ed wrong, but she's a child - a triflin' a$$ed child who should have known better, but he's a grown a$$ed man who knows right from wrong and would both have to leave my house.

I can't tell you if you should let his a$$ back into your house, but I'll tell you that I wouldn't let him in mine! Any man triflin' enough to lay up with a woman in the same house that his wife and children are sleeping in, especially if that woman is a close family member, then there is no telling what his a$$ will do.

Calling his commanding officer can get his a$$ put out of the military or reprimanded with an article 15 - so you have to decide if you want to continue to punish his a$$ but with the understand that an article 15 usually comes with a reduction in rank at his level. That means that it'll also affect you financially in terms of spousal/child support if you divorce him and it will especially affect you if you decide to take his a$$ back at some point - so you have to decide if you want to take that route.

I don't really have advice other than to say that I'm happy you put your foot down, but only you know when, or if you should lift it.

Good luck.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com

Myra Panache is reporting that the breakup between Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupree was so bad that, even though he was in Los Angeles, Dupree didn't even bother to attend Michael's memorial.

The rumor that the two had a breakup within days of his now infamous tattoo have been rampant for a while, but I blew them off because that rumor pops up so often. Some say the breakup was about the fact that Janet was tired of Jermaine running around Atlanta like a single man with his homeboys - others say that Janet grew tired of Dupree insisting that she allow him to take complete control of her career and finally blew up in a room full of industry people and blurted that he had "f*cked it up bad enough!"

Dayummmmm. I'll let y'all know when I know.

Freddy-O reports:

Frankie went on to The Ryan Cameron show to tell the world that she was in engaged and was deeply in love with her new boy friend Mon, who is 22 years old. Frankie loves that young meat, telling the world that she was so so happy and in love.

Taking after her daughter Keyshia, who got her boo tattooed on her shoulder ”D. Gibson,” (Daniel Gibson is his real name), Frankie decided to show how much she loved her man by getting his name tattooed right above her a$$. ”That’s where he wanted it,” she told me I then said ”so he can hit it every night.” “Man Down” she said and meant it. Just to let everyone know that Frankie is clean and drug free, she just loves to have a good time. “You never know when its your time”. If you wanted to know if she pains on having anymore children, all I can say is watch this season of the Frankie & Neffie show it will tell it all.

I think this is one of those "leaks"that these reality show people put out to make people want to watch the show to find out if the $hit is true... at least I'm praying that this is a rumor/lie.

Lord,

Please let this be a rumor.

R&B singer Brandy Norwood is in search of a new record deal.

BV Buzz has learned exclusively that the 30-year-old singer was just dropped by her label Epic Records because of the lackluster sales of from her comeback CD, 'Human.'

Released on Dec. 8, 2008, the CD has only sold 196,509 units to date according to SoundScan.

"Her friend Brandon Creed that works as an A&R representative at Epic Records has been making calls to see if other labels would be interested in signing her," a record company source told me.

In addition, Brandy has also parted ways with her management.

The former 'Moesha' star had been represented in recent months by Jay-Z's Roc Nation Management.

The McComb, Miss.-bred singer's relationship with Roc Nation supposedly dissolved because of "creative differences."

- blackvoices/jawn murray