Friday, May 25th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I know I'm going to sound like a horrible parent, but I need to know how to tell my son to get a real job and stop pursuing his "recording career" and start acting like a 34 year old man?

My son has planned to be a singer since he was 7 years old and, at first I thought it was his goals at being a singer were cute, but I knew then that had really wasn't that talented so I smiled and applauded everytime he entered a talent contest.

Now, he's a 34 year old man who keeps saying that he's not going to get married and settle down because he's too "focused". Miss Pearl, I know that everyone thinks my son is a joke because even I do. He's making this music that sounds like it's out of 1982 and thinks he has a hit on his hands every single time.

I have told him that he needs to step up his music, but he thinks he's doing something big with each song. He's in debt, and borrowing a lot of money from me and my husband to keep his dream alive, but he's still not getting it.

He never gets hired to do any shows and only enters talents shows and goes to karaoke bars to sing.

How can I tell him to let this dream go and not sound like I don't love and support my son? I do support him, just not his dreams to be a singer.

Kate
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Kate,

Look, I've been tellin' Jermaine to give it up for years, but he's been determined to re-grease his hair and stage a "comeback" ever since Michael went to the upper room.

You're not going to convince your son that he isn't the next big thing in music because he's already convinced that he's a star. All you can do is tell him that you will no longer fund his dreams of wanting to be a celebrity because you have yet to see a return on your investment, and 27 years of spending your money on his pipe dream is long enough.

Tell him that the well has run dry and hope that he either gets a job, or pays for his studio time with his own ends.

Hopefully, he, LaToya and Rebbie can get together and go on tour and make enough money to pay you back.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com

"Eff" It Friday!!

Baby, I've been waiting on Thursday for three weeks, and now that it's here and I'm off until Tuesday...

I want to say eff work on Friday, and Eff Monday night because I have to go to work on Tuesday morning.

What you got?

Lil Scrappy Hates That He Put Erica On...

Sadly, Scrappy feels like all the drama he goes through with the mother of his child is all her fault, but if he were a grown a$$ed man, he would realize that his issues stem from the fact that he's a little boy still trying to live a fantasy that his mammy is selling him about that silly a$$ed pipe dream about him being a prince and he wasn't man enough to tell her to get her life and stay out of his household.

Erica, you're better off.

Man Allegedly Shoots Up Club with an AK-47 Because DJ Wouldn't Play His Jam!

Dramatic surveillance footage shows the moment a man opened fire with an AK-47 inside a busy Philadelphia strip club.

He burst into the Purple Orchard Gentleman's Club, in Elmwood, and peppered the bar with bullets just before 2 a.m. Saturday, May 11. Reports suggest he had been thrown out of the venue after arguing with a DJ who'd refused to play his favorite song. I'm sorry, but I have to know what his favorite song was, because it had to go hard to make you shoot up the club with an AK.

I'm guessing his request wasn't anything by John P. Kee or Dottie Peeples.

Cops are now hunting the shooter — believed to be 21-year-old Henry Pettigrew — and an as yet unnamed friend, 6 ABC reports.

The video clip, released by Philadelphia police, shows him arguing with bouncers and being escorted out. He then returns minutes later with the assault rifle. Firing shots inside the club, he moves to open a door but falls onto the floor.

Back on his feet, he again swings open the door and fires inside multiple times. He is then seen fleeing the scene, jumping in to a light colored sedan to make his escape. One person was shot but their injuries were not believed to be serious.

Grand jury indicts Elliot Morales for West Village anti-gay hate killing

Victim Mark Carson

A heartless homophobe accused of fatally shooting a gay man at point blank range in the West Village has been indicted in connection to the hate-filled homicide, prosecutors said Thursday.

An attorney for accused killer Elliot Morales briefly appeared in Manhattan Criminal Court to get notification of the grand jury vote Thursday morning.

Morales, 33, did not appear.

The lawyer, Kevin Michael Canfield, later said Morales is not guilty of the slaying and is "devastated by the charges."

"He didn't murder anybody," Canfield said, suggesting there were other factors at play. "He was sexually abused as a child by a male authority figure which led to a lifetime of alcoholism and drug abuse," Canfield told the Daily News, adding, "It's a terrible tragedy."

Morales was arrested for murder in the second degree as a hate crime and other related charges after the shocking incident on Sixth Ave. near W. Eighth St. around midnight Saturday.

"Look at you faggots, you look like gay wrestlers," Morales allegedly told victim Mark Carson and his friend minutes before policed say he shot Mark Carson, 32, in the head. Authorities said he callously laughed as he confessed to the random killing. His gleeful expression came as he allegedly told investigators, "I shot him in the face."

His indictment will be unsealed at his Supreme Court arraignment set for June 18. Several of Carson's family members were present but declined to comment to reporters.

Morales faces up to life in prison and is being held without bail at Rikers Island.

Janet Jackson Makes a Rare Public Appeareance - Puts Rumors About Muslim Garb to Rest!

 They said Janet hadn't been seen on the scene because she married a Muslim man and had converted to Islam. With that, they said she was wearing traditional Muslim women's gear with everything covered from head to toe.

Well, with these new pics - and her tiddy's out - looks like that was a lie!

While Janet doesn't look like the Janet of 2001, she shouldn't, she looks like the 47 year old woman she's supposed to look like. Aging well, and gracefully.

Damita Jo showed up at amfAR’s Cinema Against AIDS event in Cannes - still gorgeous, and I'm loving it

Young Man Allegedly Stabbed in the Back by Girlfriend for "Cheating"...

I hope this little b*tch gets life! This is ridiculous. So, you heard your boyfriend was cheating on you, so you threw a knife into his back? Really?

He has the right to do whatever he wants to do, with whomever he chooses to do it with, and if you're not on board, you fold em. You don't own him. He can do whatever he chooses - and now you've destroyed your life because you're ignorant.

SMH

Kelly Rowland Addresses Rumors of Cancellation of Tour with The Dream...

Kelly wants you trollops to know that she and The Dream will be on tour... she just don't know when. Kelly must've said, "damn a road trip, I got an X-Factor check comin'!"

Soulja Boy's Bentley Impounded After Cameras Finger Car in Hit & Run Crime!

These celebrities and their dumbness never ceases to amaze me. This is why so many of these idiots need to have people standing around them telling them when to put the right foot in front of the left.

Soulja Boy is the latest dummy to end up caught up behind an ill-advised plan to escape the law. Whether he was directly involved, or not, the reality here is that you are surrounded by people who don't have your best interest at heart and either you, or one of them, have gotten you into some hot water.

Soulja Boy, whose red Bentley was impounded by the LAPD thanks to incriminating photos taken by a secret network of police cameras stationed around L.A..

On January 9, a motorcyclist T-boned a red Bentley in Hollywood which left the bike rider injured - like hell. Sadly, the driver of the Bentley - who caused the crash by making a reckless turn -- fled the scene. 

They say a witness -- the victim's friend -- was so pissed off, he went back to the scene of the crime a few days later and nosed around, asking people if they knew who was driving the red Bentley.  He struck gold at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles ... when a valet told the guy he knew the car well ... it belonged to Soulja Boy, who frequented the area.

The witness went to police with the info ... and that's when things got Orwellian.

Turns out, the cops have access to a super-database of photographs taken by thousands of hidden cameras stationed on police cars, buildings and private vehicles all over L.A..  There are private companies that make money off the City by getting citizens and businesses to mount cameras for the database.

One law enforcement source tells us the cameras are constantly taking photos of cars all over the city -- and the average car is shot AT LEAST 1,000 TIMES PER DAY!!!

So ... the cops got the license plate number of Soulja Boy's Bentley, ran it through the database and BINGO ... a bunch of photos popped up showing the Bentley with damage that corresponded to the accident.

Soulja's Bentley is currently damage-free.   Law enforcement sources tell us the operating theory is that the rapper had the car repaired on the sly to cover up incriminating evidence. 

So cops got a search warrant and a judge agreed there was probable cause to believe the Bentley was involved in the accident, so cops went and impounded the car.

You're probably as shocked as we are about the cameras ... cops tell us they solve hundreds of crimes with these secret photographs.  So even if you're a law abiding citizen, you probably still pick your nose, so heads up.

Cops would still like more evidence, so if you happened to be eating a delicious chicken and waffle combo on January 9, and witnessed the accident, give LAPD West Traffic a call.

Man Butt-Dials 911 While Discussing Murder Plans

He should've had Dr. 90210 on speed dial, as unfortunate as that face is - but I digress. I guess.

I promise you can't make this stuff up.

You know that person at the top of your contact list, the one most likely to get an unintended call from your butt? Well, if you're the murderous type, make sure that number isn't 911.

This lesson comes too late for Scott Simon, who unintentionally dialed 911 while still frothing with rage over a late-night dispute at a Waffle House in Florida. In the recording, Simon is heard saying that he intends to follow the man he was arguing with to his house and shoot him, the Miami Herald and South Florida Sun Sentinel report.
                                                           

That man, Nicholas Walker, was indeed shot and killed mere minutes later, while he was pulling his car onto I-95. Simon was arrested Tuesday over the May 5 incident, and while police don't think he actually killed Walker, he's been charged with first-degree murder because they believe he orchestrated the hit. "This is a first for me," a police spokesman said. "Criminals say crazy things all the time, but I've never seen anyone call a recorded line."

Gay Guy: "How to Pick Up Guys in the Hood!"

I'm so ashamed for this! How did the one black guy go from, "Hey man, I ain't gay!" to, "It's just me and you? Where we gon' go at?" after he offered him $100?!?!

My favorite was the old man! LOL LOL He walked up to him in this high pitched a$$ voice and said, "I came here to give you guys a kiiiiisssss" and, without missing a beat, that old man said in the same high a$$ voice, "You not gon' get itttttttt." LOL

Go in, grandeddy!!

Kanyezus Khrist Went to the Burning Bush & Left Ya'll a Message...

Sometimes, I just wish Connie West would just shut the eff up.

I believe that these very ambiguous tweets and Facebook postings are actually designed to have people wondering in order to keep him on the lips of people so that his new music continues to get free pub, as opposed to the kind you have to pay for.

How genius is it for him to post about "haters" and people wondering if he and Kim will make it while leaving the door open for people to say, "but he never said they're together and doing great, and in love" - instead, he's leaving the door open for people to make assumptions.

Kanye ain't as dumb as we think he is. He's really cunning - and smart as hell.

Check out the Facebook posting below:

Terrorist Attack? Men Attack Soldier on London Streets With a Machete!

And yes, that is blood on his hands. Wow, has it gotten that serious in the world? Can you really just walk up to a stranger and kill him - for nothing?

This guy seemed so normal. Like, if he approached you late at night, you wouldn't even be afraid (but that could be the accent) - but really? How does this work?

Woolwich, south-east London. Prime Minister David Cameron said there were "strong indications that it is a terrorist incident" and the UK would "never buckle" in the face of such attacks.

Footage has emerged showing a man wielding a bloodied meat cleaver and making political statements. There are unconfirmed reports that the dead man was a soldier. Both French President Francois Hollande and MP Nick Raynsford said the dead man had been a soldier at Woolwich barracks. The footage shown on the ITV website shows a man, dressed in a grey hooded jacket, saying: "We must fight them as they fight us. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.""

Halle Berry's Showing... zzzz

Why does Halle get to be divorced several times and be a baby mama twice and nobody says anything? Is it because she's cute?

I mean, I'm not saying that I have a problem with her being a baby mama (twice), but I'm wondering if she were Kourtney Kardashian or Taylor Swift would it be cool?

Is there a double standard since Halle Berry can have two baby daddy's and never marry either one, and Erykah Badu can have three baby daddy's and never marry one?

New Music - Ciara: "I'm Out" featuring Nicki Minaj...

Check out this new music from Ciara's hymn booklet. This one features Nicki Minaj -

I just don't feel today's music at all, so I honestly don't know if it's good or not. What do you think?

Wednesday, May 22nd - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I have a friend who has 3 kids, (1 boy, 2 girls) and she tells everyone I am her kids Godmother. I was not asked if I wanted this role, I was appointed while she was pregnant with her 1st child. At Christmas time, for their birthdays, and other events, she expects me to help buy gifts, pay for trips, and pay for parties. School just started back, and she called me last week asking if I wanted to go shopping with her and the kids, or did I want to just give her the money to buy their school clothes.

Matter of fact, as I type this she just called asking why didn't I call to tell them to have a good 1st day of school.

Tamara is married, receives almost $600 per month in food stamps (she tells them she's separated), receives unemployment checks, babysits, and makes a killing doing hair in our small town. I recently bought a new laptop. Now Tamara constantly brings up how her kids need a computer. She complains how no one will come take her kids off her hands even for a few hours, but she keeps other kids just because she thinks they're cute.

Miss Pearl, I am 28, I work 2 full time jobs, I'm single, I have no kids, nor do I want any. I don't mind helping people who really need it. I help my unmarried friend with expenses for her 2 kids, and I take an active role as the Godmother to them, so I'm not a selfish person.

Another problem is I can't stand Tamara's kids. They are 10, 6, and 5. They are loud, ghetto, rude to people, they have no respect for my things, they tear up my house then run out without picking up when she's ready to leave.

They talk to adults like they're grown, shake their asses to rap music, and constantly interrupt her conversations to correct something she said wrong. She yells at the top of her lungs at them the entire time we're on the phone. I have to woosaa everytime I'm around them or on the phone with her.

Not only do I not want this supposed Godmother role, but I don't even want to be her friend anymore. I wasn't raised like this, so it aggravates me to no end to be around them. I know without a doubt that if I don't step away soon, I will hurt one of them, then have to fight her. I've already tried not returning calls, but she'll just show up at my house or job, so that won't work. How do I go about getting away from her and her bad ass kids and get her off my back about paying for stuff? Remember, we are in a super small town so I will see her often.

GiGi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear GiGi,

The only thing  you can do with a broad like this is be honest. Tell her you lost  your memory and don't recognize her a$$ when you run into her - that's the only way she will get it.

If that don't work, try telling her like it is. "It's one thing to appoint me God-mother of your kids, but it's another to expect me to do things that a God-parent should do voluntarily." Tell this broad that it's not your desire, nor your duty to go school shopping unless you want to, not because she's assigned you god-mammy and expects that to mean that you have an obligation to take care of her children.

Let her know that if you wanted kids and the responsibility for buying clothes and Christmas gifts, you would have some kids of your own... so, tell her that you'll still do for the kids, but when and if you want to. Not because she picks up the phone and tells you what Lil Blayzondra needs for classes. They have a father, so, between her and their father anything you do is extra.

Tell her not to call you anymore asking for anything for her kids because you know when school starts, when their birthday's come and that Christmas starts at the same time every year.

As far as the friendship is concerned, after you tell her the well is dry, I suspect she'll be done with you anyway.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com

Her Boyfriend Caught Her Sleeping - She Looks So BEAUTIFUL!

Wait for it... .wait for it. #BAM!

Girl, ya BUSTED! LOL LOL LOL

Before They Were Famous: Chris Brown...

The Absolute Most Talented Dancer I've Seen In a Long Long Time! Go in!

Baby, he must not have any bones in his body. This is pure talent! Yes, indeed!

He's a bad bad boy!

Bandz'a Make Her Dance!

I don't know who did this, but baby, they went in!

I would love to see the original "Full House" episode and accompanying music because I'll bet it was a hot mess.

This makes it look like she had rhythm and all. She did this!

Detroit Mom Says 4 Women Attacked Her In Front Of Her Children

A Detroit mother claims that four women attacked her in front of her children over a possible road incident, Fox 2 News Detroit reports.

The woman, Kiesha, told the TV station that she went out for food for the family on a recent late night at a nearby McDonalds when she noticed a Ford Taurus “driving down the street all crazy.” She waited to see if the Taurus would slow down, but she said she had the right-of-way and proceeded to turn in to restaurant’s parking lot.

“The people followed me into McDonald’s,” Kesha said. “They blocked me off. She got out of the car. She came to my car. She leaned in the car. She argued with me. I tried to reason with her.”

It is not clear what exactly caused the argument. Maybe it was road rage or, perhaps, Kesha cut them off. Whatever the reason, the dispute only got worse.

“I kept saying, ‘Wait, wait, wait, calm down. Please just calm down. Wait a minute. Hold on,’” Kesha explained. “I was like, ‘I didn’t do anything wrong. Just wait a minute.’ And she just kept on saying, ‘You shut the [expletive] up.’”

Here is more from Fox 2 News:

We’re told the woman spit on her twice and threw a liquor bottle through the car window.

“My kids were in the car. They had kids in the car. I go to try to leave and drive around their car. The next thing you know there’s a bottle flying in the window, glass all in my mouth,” Kesha said. She jumped out, but four young women from the other car got out, too.

“It was crazy. They literally [were] thumping me. The girl that came to my car, she sat on top of me,” Kesha said.

Cut, bruised and now left with two bloody eyes, she said she was not trying to fight, but rather trying to reason with them. “For them to be as upset as they were over something so simple, they had to be either intoxicated or on drugs or something,” Kesha said.

“By her being epileptic, God was on her side because she ended up having bruises, but this could have killed her,” said her finance.

“Of course, we do want justice for both her and for our children,” he added. “For our children to witness something like this, it’s an atrocity.”

Slow 911 response might have cost slaying victim her life

It was a call for help that ended in a homicide — and an ambulance dispatched so late that paramedics were robbed of a potential shot at saving a woman’s life.

A Brooklyn woman gashed with a box cutter by her boyfriend was left unconscious and bleeding without medical care for 15 minutes after a 911 call got lost in the city’s emergency response system, the Daily News has learned.

Dangerously low staffing levels and human error in the overworked system may have contributed to the delay in getting an ambulance to the scene, according to documents obtained by The News.

Relatives were outraged by the fate of Raynell Howington, 49, whose death was declared a homicide by the city medical examiner.

“I just laid my mom to rest, and this is a terrible, shocking tragedy,” said Carmelia Howington, one of the dead woman’s five children. “There are still a lot of unanswered questions.”

Howington died May 3 after she was attacked in the lobby of the group facility on MacDougal St. in Brownsville where she lived. She suffered slash wounds to her neck that cut her trachea and jugular vein, an autopsy showed.

Dad gives daughter, 9, lesson in driving, fleeing scene of crash

An Ohio dad who gave his 9-year-old daughter a driving lesson ended up in jail — after she lost control and slammed the car into a tree.
Jaron McGee, 23, was arrested Sunday after the horrible crash in the Headland's State Park parking lot near Cleveland.

Cops say he let the girl take full control of the 1998 4-door Honda shortly after 8 p.m.
But she reached "excessive speeds" and ended up plowing into a tree. The two, who incredibly were both uninjured, fled the scene.

Officers traced the car to their home where McGee was arrested on child endangerment and wrongful entrustment, reports The Smoking Gun.

He was booked into the Lake County Jail. He is also being held on two warrants from unconnected incidents.

New Music - The Dream feat Beyonce & 2 Chainz - "Turnt"

This song is alright for The Dream - actually, I take that back, it's FIRE compared to that rhythmless mess Beyoncé leaked yesterday.

Beyonce' Is A "Grown Woman"... (But I can't tell)

They say Beyoncé's camp leaked another single from her album since the other singles that have been leaked have pretty much been duds this is the new single "leaked" from Beyoncé's new album.

The track, "Grown Woman" is kinda tired even in it's remixed state.

I suppose this "leak" is so that they can gauge whether people will actually be feeling this album, or not. So far, the people just ain't feeling what they've heard so far and based upon this right here, I'm not in on this new album just like I wasn't in on the last one.

Keep leaking tracks, that way you'll know what to delete from the album.

Technical Difficulties...

Baby, I done come home to no cable, and no damn internet! Turns out, the net (and cable) is out on my entire blawk!

Why, you ask? Because my dumb a$$ neighbor has decided to dig up the ground and plant a tree, and chopped the cable wire.

Off with that b*tches head!!!

I'm sittin here reading the internet on my phone again until tomorrow between 12-2pm (but you know that means 6 pm, right?).

I am an and gree!

Monday, May 20th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I'm close friends with a girl and her whole family because we grew up living next door to one another and our mothers were really good friends too. Anyway, my friend's grandmother passed away a few months ago and her grandmother had a huge ring that used to belong to her grandmother. The way the story goes is, my friends Great Great grandmother worked for a very wealthy white family years ago and the lady took a liking to my friends grandmother, so when she died, she left my friends grandmother this ring because she used to always tell her how much she loved it.

Well, everyone in the family knows that my friends granny had the ring, but she would never tell anyone where it was because they all wanted it. OK, my friend went to her grandmother's house after she died and was cleaning out the bedroom and found a note taped to the back of her headboard that said the ring is supposed to go to her granddaughter (not my friend) the baby of the family who is 17 years old right now. She also told them where to find the ring (it was in the freezer) and my friend found it and took it.

When they got the grandmother's will, which she had updated only a year prior, she said where she wanted the ring to go and said where it was. Everybody is accusing each other of stealing the ring and the whole family is going through drama because of it, but my friend recently told me the whole story of how she got the ring and then put it in a pawn shop and was bragging that she got $525 for the ring.

I want to tell someone in the family what she has done, but I feel like it's not my place. I asked my friend if she is going to get the ring out and she flat out said, "no" because she doesn't have $525 to get it out with.

Should I tell the family where the ring is so that someone can get it back before it's too late? My friend left the receipt for the pawn in my car and I would get it if I had it, but I don't have the money either.

Please help before it's too late,

Nicole
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Nicole,

Tell! If you don't have the set you need to tell, then take that receipt, put it in an envelope and send it to the most responsible person in the family - preferably the mother of the person the ring is supposed to go to.

Your friend is going to be mad, but who gives a $hit? She's dead wrong and that family heirloom will end up in the  hands of some greedy pawn shop owner who wont' give a damn about it's history, just his bottom line - money.

I have to be real, I don't know pawn shops that give out $525 for nothin' so, if they gave her that much, think about how much that damn thing must be worth in their eyes - believe me, they're praying her ghetto a$$ doesn't return to scoop it up.

Hurry and get that ticket to the rightful owners of the ring and let them decide how to proceed. Hopefully your friend will go to jail for being ignorant and greedy and the ring will be back in the family.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com

Billboard Awards Red Carpet...

Chris Brown looks like he's on his way to crack-headdom...

Kelly Rowland looks good. Dress is interesting though...

I just can't take Miguel serious until he gets rid of that hairdo

American Idol hurt Nicki Minaj... I can't take her seriously anymore...

They say Rocsi done laid up with every man in the industry...

These two disgust me for some reason.

You Better HAVE a Pregnant Girlfriend & Escort With Men on the Side!

Wow. You have a girlfriend who doesn't know that you're on the DL... I'm trying to figure out if she's blind, or in denial?

Get More: True Life, Full Episodes

You Better CHEAT With Somebody's Wife & Escape By Tying Sheets Together When Her Husband Comes Home!

This is all kinds of shameful right here. I'm so shame for this mess here.

Child Support Payments: Akon Edition...

You know, if these clowns stopped having s ex with these broads without using condoms, all of these ridiculous amounts of child support would be a non-issue.

I would love to know how many of these dudes are HIV positive as a result of them not having safe s ex. I can't believe that Magic Johnson is the only person to ever contract HIV in the industry. I wonder how many of these groupies, who go around boinking a baller a minute trying to get pregnant, are HIV positive.

Akon has been ordered by a judge to cough up $5,000 a month in child support ... which would be considered MASSIVE ... except for the fact that he's raking in over $40,000 per month.

Kon, how is talentless if you ask me because I'm still trying to figure out what he did to get a record deal, filed a paternity case against Rozina Negusei because he wanted the court to establish custody, child support and legally recognize him as daddy Akon to their two young sons.

As part of the process, Akon had to file docs about how much money he makes. He listed his income as $40,708/month and based on that number, a judge ordered him to pony up $5,000/month for the kids.

According to the docs, the judge took into consideration that Akon makes SIX other child support payments.

Heavy D's Brother Wants Access to Estate

This is about as sad and disgusting as it gets.

So, your brother leaves you everything in his will - before he has any children - he has a doorter, and then dies 13-years later without updating his will.

One would assume that everything he has goes to the doorter, right? Not if the brother has anything to say about it. He says it was left to him - he wants it.

Via TMZ:

Heavy D's brother is seeking control of the late rapper's estate -- what's left of it -- via an old will that earmarks nothing for D's 13-year-old daughter, parents or other siblings ... according to documents obtained by TMZ.

Floyd Myers, D's brother and former business manager, filed docs in L.A. County Superior Court last week ... claiming Heavy wrote a will in '99 and lost it years ago ... but insists D gave him a copy.

Interestingly, the will Floyd wants the court to honor specifies that all of Heavy's assets should go to Floyd (keep in mind, Heavy apparently signed off on that will BEFORE his daughter was born).

So what's left of Heavy's estate? The rapper only had $320,000 in listed assets (but there could be more $$$ in future royalties and other bank accounts that haven't been discovered yet).

They say he wants the will put into place so that he can settle a condo he co-owned with Heav... but I ain't buyin' it.

Chad Ocho Stank Hoe - "I'm broke. Child Support ain't happenin' right now!"

Bless his heart. Chad Ocho Cinco Diez y Siete Dos aka Chad Johnson has very little mon to the ey. No wonder Evelyn wouldn't take his a$$ back after he mashed her head with his.

Chad filed new court docs as part of an ongoing battle with one of his baby mamas, Andrea Pearson, asking a judge to lower his $5,420 per month child support payments because he claims can't afford it.

In the docs, Chad says he agreed to that number back in March 2012, when he was a successful NFL star. He says he now "finds himself without a contract and without a team. Simply [I am] unemployed."

He also says, at such a late stage in his career, it is CERTAIN he will never make the kind of cash he once did.

The news is a far cry from his money days ... in 2012, Chad claimed he raked in $66k per month​. But he got released from the Dolphins in August after his head butting arrest and his endorsement deals dropped like flies.

Kardashian Kids' Ex-Step Mother Claims They're Suing Her for Nothing!

So, I'm guessing that story about Robert Kardashian Sr. not being Khloe Kardashian's father must be true since the story was reported to have come from Robert Sr.'s diary and Rob's wife has admitted that she sold the story to the tabloids and got paid for it.

Oh my.

I mean, not that we didn't look at Kris' beautician and know, without a doubt, that he is Khloe's deddy. But roll with this...

Ellen Pearson -- the woman who was married to Robert Kardashian when he died -- claims the Kardashian kids don't have a leg to stand on in their lawsuit against her for selling portions of their father's diary to the tabloids.

Kim, Khloe, Kourtney and Rob Jr. all banded together last month to sue Pearson for profiting off the diary ... a diary that contained a slew of juicy personal information.

The Kardashian kids claimed in their suit that the diary was left to them in Robert's will, but in her response filed earlier this week ... Pearson claims that just isn't the case and the diary is rightfully hers.

Pearson also shoots down the idea that she hid the diary from the Kardashians, but she does fully admit to selling it to the tabloids and owns up to the fact that she got paid for it.

Kelly Rowland Keeps Grinding...

Say what you want about Kelly Rowland, but this broad keeps her feet on the street. She may not keep her own hits on the radio, but she definitely keeps working.

After her brief stint on X-Factor UK; Kelly is now in line to replace Brittney Spears on the U.S. version of the show, also starring Simon Cowell & Demi Lovato.

Hopefully, since they paid Brittney about $15 million smacks to appear on the show, they can give Kelly at least $7 milli, and keep her with coins in her pocket for a while.

Go in, Kelly Mae. Go in.

"Eff" It Friday!

I'm so damned tired of working I don't know what to do. I'm retiring in two years and they can't get here fast enough.

With that, I just want to say "eff" my alarm clock, because no b*tch in history has been hated more Monday through Friday.