Thursday, December 6

Thanksgiving Family Horror Stories

Remember before the holidays I asked y'all to send me some of your good "mess" stories from over the holidays? Well, baby, Miss Pearl wasn't ready for the flood of emails I got in regard to that!

I must have pissed in my pants at some of the stuff that went on in your households. (PS: The bastard who had an orgy with his brother and his wife, don't ever come back to my site again, you nasty bastard! - unless you got pictures).

Long story short, I am only posting a few of the stories because I really want to save some of them for some of my "slow" news days. But here are a few:

Miss Pearl,

Let me tell you about a Thanksgiving drama that didn’t happen in my family, but in the family of a girl I work with. See, she knew that her little brother was gay, but she never told their parents because her father is a rich, white man. Well, the family bought the 19 year old son a 200,000 condo to live in while he goes to college.

The kid told his sister that he was going to break the news to the family at Thanksgiving Dinner that he was gay and that he was going to be moving his 34 year old boyfriend (who he had invited to dinner) into the new condo with him. Well, my friend says that she tried to convince her brother to do it one on one, but he was ready to come out to the entire family.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving Dinner, the brother stands up to make his announcement and the entire family is speechless, nobody is saying a word – that is, until my friends step sister (not the dad’s daughter) tries to change the subject and informs everyone that she and her boyfriend had gotten engaged.

The father stands up, leaves the table, comes back to the table, brings the step-daughter a set of keys, throws them down in front of her and tells her and her boyfriend, “Congratulations… welcome to the family, here are the keys to your new condominium.” Then he looks at his son and his boyfriend and hands them the boyfriends keys and says, “Welcome to homelessness.”

Long story short, my friend says that the family had a BIG blow-up that left with the step sister crying because her half brother attacked her and her boyfriend attacked him and the brothers boyfriend started fighting him and before it was over, everybody was kicked out of the house and the father and son haven’t spoken since that day. Goes to show you, white people have just as much drama as we do.
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Hey Pearlie Ann,

My story is from about three Thanksgivings ago. My oldest sister is considered the messy bitch of the family. Well, she came to our baby sister, Trania on Thanksgiving day (who was 16 at the time) and asked her if she was pregnant. When my sister said yes, she wanted to know if our mother knew yet. Both me and Trania begged this bitch not to tell but she said that “mama needed to know” so my sister tried to leave the house so she wouldn’t be there when big mouth blabbed.

Our mother said that Trania couldn’t go to her friends for dinner because we had the entire family there. My oldest sister was sitting at the table with her husband and her kids, my two aunts were there with their teenagers, various cousins and family members were there having a good time and just when it looked like my sister was going to have some class and not open her big mouth, my mother asks one of my cousins, “When is your sister going to have her baby?” And why did she do that? My ghetto sister seized the opportunity to be messy and said, “You need to be asking your OWN daughter that question!” Of course all eyes turned to Trania and she was looking at our big sister like she could have killed her.

My mother asked my sister what she meant and that messy bitch took a sip of her wine and said, “Ask your daughter why she ain’t even finished high school, but is about to be raising a baby?” Trania didn’t miss a beat when she looked at my sister’s husband and said, “And then why don’t you ask your WIFE why YOU are sitting there feeding a baby that belongs to Donovan (his best friend)


All forks hit the plates at the same time and before you knew it, my oldest sister attacked my baby sister and my mother pressed charges on her because she was a minor and she was pregnant.

Now my big sister has a case and her husband is trying to get paternity test.
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Dear Miss Pearl,

You ask us to email you Thanksgiving Day drama, well let me tell you about what happened to my family this year. We all went to my grandmother house for the holiday and my uncle who nobody really deal with a lot was there – drunk as usual. My granny don’t trust him in her house, but he kept saying he don’t fell good. We finally convince granny to let him sleep in one of the rooms and he went to sleep. When everybody started leaving granny said, “You all better go wake Ted up because he can’t say here all night” He had went to sleep at like 2 and was still sleeping when we left at 8:30. Another one of my unlce told granny to quite being like that and to let Ted sleep til the next day and then wake him up in the morning to let him leave.

The day after thanksgiving my grandmother went in there fussing to wake Ted up telling him to get his drunk self up and go home so he can go to work but he didn’t move. He was not moving, she called the ambulance and they came and said he had been dead since the day before at about 3 o’clock. Now granny is staying at our house because she say my uncle spirit is in there because she cursed him all night before she went to bed the night before because she didn’t want him in her house, now he never going to leave.

Thanksgiving day drama –
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Hi Miss P. here is some drama since you say you like mess. I went to Thanksgiving last year at my boyfriend’s mother’s house. We had already eaten at my house so we were really like there to watch the game and hang out with family. Well, someone called the house and my boyfriends mother jumped up and ran to the window. She told my boyfriend to call the police. We all asked what was happening and looked outside and there was four girls standing in front of the house while another girl (who I later found out was messing with my boyfriend) was breaking out all the windows in my brand new car!

I didn’t want to go out there because she was acting crazy and swinging a baseball bat. When the day was finally over, my car was not driveable, I had some fools waiting outside to fight me, and my boyfriend (who is now my ex) was being a punk about it by saying that he didn’t know who she was, but she had my phone number and called me telling me that she took it out of his phone the night before (when he was out with his boys supposedly) and told me what color underwear he had on and everything they did the night before.

Two days ago, I found out that he has a baby by this chick and now I am pressing charges and will have to go to court with this chick all over a nothing assed nigga.

Happy Holidays to me

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