Pearl's Window

Dear Miss Pearl,

My son is 7 years old and he loves to spend time with his grandfather (my husband's dad). I don't have a problem with my son spending time with his grandpa because I love the fact that they are getting closer. The problem I have is that my father-in-law is cheating on his wife of 33 years, and he takes my so over to his girlfriend's house and even has my son calling her his "other" granny.

He has told my son that he can't tell his real granny about "Latha", but my son doesn't understand why. I have told my husband that I don't want my son going with his grandfather to his girlfriend's house because I don't want that to have an influence on him, nor do I want my son to feel like he is betraying his grandmother.

We all know that he's cheating, but I don't feel like it's my place to get in that, but I also don't want my baby thrust into the middle of his grandparents bull. My husband says that his father should be able to take his son anytime he wants to, and that I should mind my own business. He has even threatened my son that he better not tell "granny" about Latha. I can't understand how he can help his father cheat on his mother, but I'm tired of trying to understand.

Who's right?

Demera
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Dear Demera,

Girl, you're right, and download and print out this picture of my ass and then mash it up against your husband's lips so that he can kiss my ass!

That's the problem with black men today - no loyalty! What your husband clearly understands (he just doesn't want your ass to know that he understands it) is that your son is being groomed to become another worthless, unfaithful black man.

What lesson is your son learning from his father and grandfather when they take him to witness grandpa's infidelities other than, "This is what men are supposed to do? Cheating is "normal" - as long as you don't get caught." Your son will grow up with that same sentiment! "My grandaddy did it, and he was able to keep his wife!... Hell, my father helped his father cheat on his own mother... how wrong could it be?"

Watch this... if your husband has threatened a 7 year old not to tell that his grandfather is cheating, I'll kick my own ass if he isn't, or won't be, training him to keep the fact that he's cheating on your ass too!

Realistically, there is nothing you can do within your own household because if your husband is sad enough to help his dad cheat on his mom - he surely has no regard for the sanctity of marriage, and I wouldn't trust his ass any further than I can throw him because of it. If he's telling him not to tell granny - for you to harp on it only means that he's going to eventually threaten him to keep him from telling you when he's been with Latha and grandpa.

I would go directly to the father in law and explain how you feel. Tell him that you don't agree with what he's doing, and detail exactly why. Maybe that'll help him understand where you are coming from. If he doesn't get it, then threaten to tell the wife if your son isn't kept out of grown folk business - you're going to have some problems with your husband afterwards, but the decision to protect your son from ignorant shit is obviously yours - particularly since your husband is clueless.

Good luck! (Big Scoop, you say one word out of pocket and I'ma put this switch cross your big, yellow ass, and I mean that!)

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com