Monday, November 23th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I recently opened up a restaurant after wanting to do it for years. I took out a mortgage on the house that my mother left for me to finally do it and it started out good, but as of right now, business sort of slacked off in the recession and I'm still doing well (thanks to my mom and grandmom's home cooking recipes) but I have a problem.

My boyfriend's family thinks that they are supposed to come to the restaurant and run up enourmous bills and then walk out simply because I'm dating their family member. The first couple of times I allowed his mother and three of her church members to eat for free, it was because I was being nice, but the next time she came in, she brought six or seven people with her after church and they all ate for free too.

I talked to my boyfriend first because it's his mom and I didn't want to come across as rude or stingy, but he said that he thinks his mother should be able to come to eat there for free and he would do it if it was my mom.

But Miss P, he didn't put a dollar into this place and all the bills come in MY name, so when I give away $200 worth of food per week, that money comes off of my bottom line and neither he, his mother, or his sisters seem to get that.

Now, his mother has started sending her grandchildren over to the restaurant with a note, "2 chicken dinners with greens and yams, etc AND 2 meat loaf dinners, etc." She sends no money, so the last time she did it, I called her and said, "Although I don't mind feeding hungry people when they are hungry when I can afford it. I don't have to means to open my oven to everybody she decides that SHE wants to feed on my dime and I would appreciate it if she would stop thinking that just because I date her son that it somehow means that her entire family gets carte blanche to my business."

She cursed me out, her daughter called and cursed me out and then my boyfriend told me that I was wrong and went off on me too. I couldn't believe it, but I dealt with it the best way I knew how. I cursed him out, his sister out and told their mother where they can each kiss my a$$.

Miss Pearl, I have added up the receipts for all the free food that I have given these moochers over the past 5 months and they total $975.78 cents. How can I afford to pay my bills if I keep doing that?

Now, my boyfriend wants me to take him back, but he's not helping me in any way. When I tell hm that I need to hire someone to clean my grills, cut the grass, paint etc. he sits back and lets me spend the money that I don't have to do it, but now I'm free of him and his hungry a$$ family and I don't think I want to go back, even though I love him.

Am I doing the right thing by standing my ground?

Mama's Kitchen
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Dear Mama's Kitchen,

Girl, you don't need my advice... you did that!