Dear Miss Pearl,
My best friend has separated from her husband and has started drinking to the point of becoming an alcoholic. The first time she said that Jackie told me that she was going to have a drink was shocking to me because she is the one who usually got pissy drunk from a single wine cooler, but since her husband has left, she stops by a bar every day after work and drinks for a couple of hours and has even come to work smelling like alcohol once.
I have asked her nicely if she thinks that she's drinking a bit much lately and her response is that she doesn't drink enough. There is beginning to be a bunch of talk around the office that she is drinking a lot, but because she's been in the office for 23 years, they are letting it pass - for now and I think that I am the only one who has mentioned it.
I want to talk to Jackie about her drinking, but she's not necessarily the type to be "confronted". I know that she's having a hard time since her husband left her, but how can I tell her what everyone is saying without hurting her feelings?
Betty Jean
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Dear Betty Jean,
Damn being mad. Sometimes people need a dose of reality, whether they like it or not. Granted, most won't like it and you'll probably be met with resistance, but I hope that a dose of reality in the form of the possibility of losing her job behind her boozing will bring Jackie back to reality.
Ask her out to lunch, let her order whatever she likes, and when she orders that drink, that'll be the perfect opportunity to bring up her excessive drinking. Remind her that she has come to work smelling like the sauce and then tell her that the word around the office isn't good.
If she gets mad, oh well. You have a responsibility to make an honest attempt to help your friend, and if she doesn't want to be friends with you after that, then that's on her, but as her friend, you have to make an effort. One, two and then three efforts if it comes down to it.
Don't give up on your girl, she needs you right now.
If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com
3 comments:
B.J.,
It's better that she gets her feeling hurt now if that B the case rather than having no job later.
May B U'll could meet after work for a conference wherein U would encourage her 2 get some counseling.
You need to address it now. Not only is she drunk as a skunk, but she is getting on the hwy DRUNK. She is a danger to herself and everyone else on the hwy. If she doesn't want to listen (since you said she is not the type ot be confronted) I would call the police on her ass! Yes I know it is harsh but I would rather that be her wake up call then for someone to get killed and I did nothing to stop it because she is the the type to be confronted. When talking doesn't work sometimes you have to go to extreme measures!
Hmmm sounds familiar...Been there done that. I am one of those rowdy friends but I will listen whether I like it or not. Please talk to your friend someone was there for me and I really appreaciate them for it!
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