Tuesday, June 26th - Dear Miss Pearl...

I'm gay and my best friend, Constance is a straight woman. We've been friends for the past two years and we talk about everything. Constance is single, but she always gives me advice about my relationships.

Lately, every single guy I talk about, she seems to find a reason to hate. My best male friend told me that he believes that Constance is in love with me and I told him that he was just jealous of our relationship, but now I'm not so sure because lately she has become very territorial with me. She doesn't want me to go out on dates, every guy I bring around, she treats like dirt, and when we go out, she wants to hold my hand and make people think that we are together so that other guys will leave her alone.

All of that was cool in the beginning because we both knew that it was just for show, but now when she comes to my house, she wants to lay her head on my lap, ask me who I'm talking to on the phone, and give major attitude to my gay male friends.

The last straw was when we went out drinking, and she came back to my place and agreed that she should stay at my house since she had been drinking, well I went into the bathroom and came out and she was in my bed, naked!

How can I make sure that my best friend knows that I'm a single GAY man without hurting her feelings.

Stalked
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Dear Stalked,

Your best friend knows that you're a queen - she just doesn't want to accept it. The problem that single straight women have in their friendships with gay men is that they're often "safe". These friendships are often non-threatening and these women get to have their cake and eat it too.

They get everything they could ever dream of in a man in their friendships with a gay man and there are no ulterior motives at the end of the day. A gay man can give you laughter, he can cry with you, he can carry a bag when it's too heavy, he tells you that you're beautiful, and has no problem going shopping with you and helping you pick out an outfit - the only thing he doesn't want is sex, so it's easy to see why so many straight women fall for their gay, male friends.

There isn't much you can do with Constance other than clearly draw that line and let her know that it will never be crossed, and let her know that if she doesn't stop creeping you out, that you will have to back up.

Who knows? Maybe you should ask her first; this could be your imagination - maybe she's not attracted to you at all. Maybe she's one of those territorial friends who wants you all to herself... at the end of the day, you have to sit down with your best friend and have a serious conversation with her.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to misspearlswindow@yahoo.com