Friday, July 6th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Hi Miss Pearl,

My name is Jeanette and I have a boyfriend that I been with for 2 1/2 years. He has cheated before and use to be a heavy liar. He seemed to have changed that recently after we had a bad break up and he started telling me things that I know he didn't want me to know.

He seemed to be changing and we got back together but something started telling me that something is not right with him. I feel like he is doing some dirt and when I questioned him about it he promises me that he is not, but I don't believe him.

I can randomly check his phone or search whatever I want, whenever I want and won't find anything. He hasn't gave me reason to think that but this feeling that I got won't go away. He stays up all through the night til daylight(not at work) saying he don't be doing anything or talking to anyone he just go over his sister house.

My question is am I being paranoid or should I go with my feelings?

Jeanette
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Dear Jeanette,

I can see why your ass is confused, because your letter confused the hell out of me too! Girl, what the hell are you talkin about? In most cases, people say that a leopard never changes it's spots, but that's not always the case.

The problem you have is that you're allowing your boyfriend's past determine your future. You decided to take him back, so when you made that decision, you should have been ready to let go of all of the other shit that he's done. When you're in a relationship with someone who lies, and or cheats and you leave, don't take them back if you're not willing to get past whatever they've done to destroy the relationship in the first place. In other words, if the hurt from the cause of the breakup still runs deep - then you're not ready to go back - deal with it, no matter how long it takes, and then go back!

Don't run back to the man for fear that time away will allow someone else to get him because if you haven't forgiven him, you're just not ready. (Not to mention; if he was a liar and a cheat, you shouldn't really care that somebody took his ass off of your hands)

I'm really confused about where you were going with this issue anyway, because you say that he's told you that he's changed, you can check his phone and call records anytime you want, he's given you no reason to believe that he's doing something and all you have is "intuition"... in most cases, I'd say go with that intuition; but you do seem a bit paranoid.

If the man isn't giving you reason to suspect anything and has opened up his phone and other personal information to prove that he's being faithful - let it go. To me, all of these issues is further confirmation that you shouldn't have gone back to your boyfriend without making sure that you were completely over your issues with him.

I suggest you get over your issues until something finds you because they say if you continue to look, eventually you're going to find it. Don't drive yourself crazy about nothing.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com