Dear Miss Pearl,
I am a 32 year old gay woman and I have been out for the
past 5 years. My parents know about me, as do most of my friends and co-workers.
The problem I have is my mother. I just recently went to her job and found out
that she has a picture of me at my sister's wedding three years ago on her desk.
Miss Pearl, I was in the picture with my escort for the wedding.
my mom why she had that picture on her desk and she told me that she liked it.
Later in the office, her manager told me that whenever I broke up with my
BOYFRIEND, I would make a great girl for her son!
I am FURIOUS that my
mother hasn't told her co-workers that I am gay. It's apparent that she's
ashamed of me, and I haven't talked to her in two weeks. My sisters say that I
am overreacting, but I think I am justified in being angry with her.
should I approach my mother after she's betrayed
should approach her by saying, "Mom, I'm sorry for being ignorant, and since I'm
a butch lesbian, I'll come over to wash your car, cut the grass, and retile your
kitchen this weekend to make up for it!"
Girl, sit your ass down
somewhere. You didn't say that your mother told people that you were straight,
you said that she DIDN'T tell people that you were gay - and why should she have
You don't go around telling people that your mother is STRAIGHT, do
you? Your mom is in a professional work environment and there is no room in the
office for discussions about the sex lives of our adult children
Does it mean that your mother is ashamed of you because she
doesn't tell people that you're gay? No more than it means that you are ashamed
of your mother when you don't walk around the office advertising that SHE is
straight! Is there a REASON for that conversation to take place within the
office, and if so; when, why, and where?
I'm not sure if your mother is
ashamed or not, but it's definitely time for the two of you to have a
conversation. You need to voice your concerns to her. Find out where she is
emotionally before you allow your own insecurities to take over your common
Talk to your damn mama and tell her how BELIEVING that she's
ashamed of you makes you feel. You might find out that she's not ashamed of you
If not, challenge her to a duel... I know how you lesbians
like to fight!
Now, take this box of candy cigarettes and put it into the
lapel pocket of that flannel shirt and sit your ass down somewhere!
you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org