Thursday, July 12th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I am 24 years old and most people would say that I am very beautiful. I get told all the time that I should be a model, but it's not what I want to do. My complaint is that everybody seems to hate me because I am pretty. It's like it is a curse or something.

All of my friends eventually don't want to be around me because I guess they are afraid that their boyfriends are going to be attracted to me or something. When I ask them why, they all have the same tired excuse, "You think you're all that!" but nothing could be further from the truth. I can't help it if I take better care of my skin and my clothes than they do.

I mean, if women would start trying to do some of the things that I do to keep this body and this hair and skin instead of wasting time disliking me for it, we could all be cute, right?

I promised myself that if I lost one more friend that I would stop trying to be friends with women forever, and my "best" friend has stopped talking to me and won't tell me why.

The problem is that if I try to be friends with men, those same women will spread rumors that I'm a slut. What can I do?

Ashamed to be pretty
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Dear Ashamed to be Pretty,

Girl, please! You ain't ashamed to be pretty, you relish in your looks, that's why you spend so much time working on maintaining it!! That's like saying, "I'm ashamed to be skinny" yet dieting, working out 2 hours a day and monitoring every single morsel that I put into my mouth!

Get a grip, I don't believe that people are hating on your beauty, they're hating what you are obviously projecting - and based upon your letter, I don't like your ass either! It's not about being pretty and knowing it, nobody believes that they're ugly. We all see beauty when we look into the mirror, but your issue is that you see beauty and it's gone to your head.

There is a difference in being aesthetically beautiful, being beautiful on the inside, and being beautiful inside and out - in your case, it's apparent that you're probably beautiful on the outside, but the fact that you wear that beauty as a badge of honor makes you ugly to the people around you!

Here's a clue, if you have lost many "friends" to the exact same reason - there's something to it! So, where there's smoke, there's fire, Shug - get over yourself!! Why would women seek friendship with you if they hated on your beauty? Physical beauty is an aesthetic, so if these women were truly haters - they wouldn't have attempted to befriend you in the first place. Check yourself, sweetie!

I suggest you humble yourself and try to figure out where your desire to be beautiful on the outside as opposed to beautiful on the inside and out, stems from and once you've assessed that, you've got the key that opens doors to many of your lifelong issues.

Good luck, Hon!

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com