Hi Miss Pearl,
My name is Jeanette and I have a boyfriend that I been
with for 2 1/2 years. He has cheated before and use to be a heavy liar. He
seemed to have changed that recently after we had a bad break up and he started
telling me things that I know he didn't want me to know.
He seemed to be
changing and we got back together but something started telling me that
something is not right with him. I feel like he is doing some dirt and when I
questioned him about it he promises me that he is not, but I don't believe
I can randomly check his phone or search whatever I want, whenever I
want and won't find anything. He hasn't gave me reason to think that but this
feeling that I got won't go away. He stays up all through the night til
daylight(not at work) saying he don't be doing anything or talking to anyone he
just go over his sister house.
My question is am I being paranoid or
should I go with my
I can see why your ass is confused, because your letter
confused the hell out of me too! Girl, what the hell are you talkin
about? In most cases, people say that a leopard never changes it's spots,
but that's not always the case.
The problem you have is that you're
allowing your boyfriend's past determine your future. You decided to
take him back, so when you made that decision, you should have been ready to let
go of all of the other shit that he's done. When you're in a relationship with
someone who lies, and or cheats and you leave, don't take them back if you're
not willing to get past whatever they've done to destroy the relationship in the
first place. In other words, if the hurt from the cause of the breakup still
runs deep - then you're not ready to go back - deal with it, no matter how long
it takes, and then go back!
Don't run back to the man for fear
that time away will allow someone else to get him because if you haven't
forgiven him, you're just not ready. (Not to mention; if he was a liar and a
cheat, you shouldn't really care that somebody took his ass off of your
I'm really confused about where you were going with this issue
anyway, because you say that he's told you that he's changed, you can check his
phone and call records anytime you want, he's given you no reason to believe
that he's doing something and all you have is "intuition"... in most cases,
I'd say go with that intuition; but you do seem a bit paranoid.
man isn't giving you reason to suspect anything and has opened up his phone and
other personal information to prove that he's being faithful - let it go. To me,
all of these issues is further confirmation that you shouldn't have gone back to
your boyfriend without making sure that you were completely over your issues
I suggest you get over your issues until something finds
you because they say if you continue to look, eventually you're going
to find it. Don't drive yourself crazy about nothing.
If you want advice
from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org