Dear Miss Pearl,
I am 29 years old and I have a boyfriend named Harvey.
We have been together for about six months, so I can't say that I fully trust
and, or believe everything he says even though he says that he is being faithful
and honest with me about everything.
The problem is that I also have a
first cousin named Brandon who told me that he ran into Harvey at a club about
an hour from our town and that he was on the dance floor having a good
time as if I didn't even exist. Now, the day this was supposed to have
happened, he called me and said that he was going to play cards at this friend
Tyshon's house so when Brandon told me this, I thought that there might be some
truth to it.
The problem? Brandon is gay and he says he saw Harvey at the
gay club, but Harvey didn't see him. He promises that he knows for a
fact that it was Harvey and he even watched him get into the car with a guy and
described the car (which was a detailed account of Harvey's best friend's
I want to believe my cousin, but I don't know how to approach
Harvey about it. I think I love him, but how can I stay with him if I will have
this hanging over my
Giiiiiiirl, No Ma'am! Look
here, if Brandon had told me that he saw my man drive past the gay
club, I'd be concerned, but if he me that his ass was on the dance floor
Vogue'n, Butterflyin' and sweatin', I'd have his shit packed and ready by the
time he came back home
You have to ask
yourself, "Is there a reason Brandon would tell me this if it weren't true?"
(bearing in mind that queens can be messy as hell) and if not, why aren't you
See, it's one thing to
think that a man would be at a club with his friends dancing with some trick
because that's what men do. As long as he doesn't leave the club with
her - no harm, no foul.
situation is different because a) Harvey lied when he told you that he was going
to play "cards" and b) he didn't just go to a club - he went to a gay
club and that means that he's living a whole separate (and secret) life!
You would expect your man to go out to the club with his boys and look at women
and possibly even dance with a few - but you deserve to know that the man you're
dating is also into other
I'm really not
sure why you're asking me how to approach this topic because the best way to do
it is to just do it - and the sooner the better. Go through the laundry
basket and if you find shit stains in the front of his draws - you got him!! Or
better yet, put on Jennifer Holiday's (or Hudson's) "And I Am Telling
You" and then leave the room, but sneak back in and catch his ass lip
synchin' and tearin that hymn up, then point your finger in his face, tell him
he has 30 minutes to be gone, or you're telling his entire family that he was at
the gay club with his friend. (Trust me, he won't fight you on
You only have 6 months invested
into the relationship. You don't stand to lose much at this
If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: