Friday, August 17th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I am 29 years old and I have a boyfriend named Harvey. We have been together for about six months, so I can't say that I fully trust and, or believe everything he says even though he says that he is being faithful and honest with me about everything.

The problem is that I also have a first cousin named Brandon who told me that he ran into Harvey at a club about an hour from our town and that he was on the dance floor having a good time as if I didn't even exist. Now, the day this was supposed to have happened, he called me and said that he was going to play cards at this friend Tyshon's house so when Brandon told me this, I thought that there might be some truth to it.

The problem? Brandon is gay and he says he saw Harvey at the gay club, but Harvey didn't see him. He promises that he knows for a fact that it was Harvey and he even watched him get into the car with a guy and described the car (which was a detailed account of Harvey's best friend's car).

I want to believe my cousin, but I don't know how to approach Harvey about it. I think I love him, but how can I stay with him if I will have this hanging over my head?

Aksona
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Dear Aksona,

Giiiiiiirl, No Ma'am! Look here, if Brandon had told me that he saw my man drive past the gay club, I'd be concerned, but if he me that his ass was on the dance floor Vogue'n, Butterflyin' and sweatin', I'd have his shit packed and ready by the time he came back home

You have to ask yourself, "Is there a reason Brandon would tell me this if it weren't true?" (bearing in mind that queens can be messy as hell) and if not, why aren't you more concerned?

See, it's one thing to think that a man would be at a club with his friends dancing with some trick because that's what men do. As long as he doesn't leave the club with her - no harm, no foul.

Your situation is different because a) Harvey lied when he told you that he was going to play "cards" and b) he didn't just go to a club - he went to a gay club and that means that he's living a whole separate (and secret) life! You would expect your man to go out to the club with his boys and look at women and possibly even dance with a few - but you deserve to know that the man you're dating is also into other men.

I'm really not sure why you're asking me how to approach this topic because the best way to do it is to just do it - and the sooner the better. Go through the laundry basket and if you find shit stains in the front of his draws - you got him!! Or better yet, put on Jennifer Holiday's (or Hudson's) "And I Am Telling You" and then leave the room, but sneak back in and catch his ass lip synchin' and tearin that hymn up, then point your finger in his face, tell him he has 30 minutes to be gone, or you're telling his entire family that he was at the gay club with his friend. (Trust me, he won't fight you on it)

You only have 6 months invested into the relationship. You don't stand to lose much at this point.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: Misspearlswindow@yahoo.com