Dear Miss Pearl,
My name is LaDaricka St. James, but my birth name is
Derrick. If you haven't figured it out by now, I am a pre-op transsexual. I have
a big problem that's not really mine, but I feel like I have a moral obligation
to do something about it.
My best friend TeTe is also a transsexual and
we both moved to Atlanta two years ago because we decided that we wanted to live
as women full time and knew that it would be very hard if we did it in our home
I like to date straight men and so does my best friend TeTe, the
problem is that I tell all the men I date that I still have male sexual organs
and TeTe does not. She is dating a good guy who is a doctor and he really loves
her and will do anything for her. He has a girlfriend who doesn't know about
TeTe and now he is about to leave his girlfriend to move in with Te. The good
doctor doesn't know that Te is a man because they have never had sex and I feel
like Te should tell him before he finds out later and something bad happens
because he seems to have a short fuse whenever he gets mad and I fear that he
will do something to hurt Te.
I asked Te to tell him and she says that
she wants to wait until they move in together, that way he will feel obligated
to stay since they already live together.
Should I say something or mind
my own business?
I don't know if you owe it to tell the "good doctor" yourself,
but TeTe surely does. This is a disaster waiting to happen, I can assure you.
So, while on one hand I feel sorry for the doctor in that he is dating, and has
fallen in love with, what he believes to be a woman - on the same token, his
deceitful ass is getting it no less than exactly how he's giving it because his
girlfriend believes that she's with a faithful man!
honestly don't know what to say here because there are so many angles one could
take - are you genuinely concerned because you're just a naturally good person,
or does it bother you because your best friend ended up with a doctor who will
do anything for her/him?
Is Te really planning to tell the doc that she's
a he, or is she hoping that it won't ever come up? Is Te ready to deal with the
anger, and possible ass whoopin that is almost sure to come when her straight
boyfriend finds out that he's been a gay man all of this time? Are you concerned
about the doctor, Te, yourself or the doctors clueless girlfriend? She's the
only victim in this sordid tale, so for that reason alone, I believe
that she deserves to know that her man is with another man (whether he knows or
Get your thoughts together and decide which boat you want to ride
on. If you really believe that this man deserves to know (and hell, I suspect he
probably does since I'm sure Te has to do some "grooming techniques" that not
many women have to do) then you should confront Te and explain to her that she
is potentially breaking up a home for naught if this man finds out that she's a
he and decides to leave her, so why not find out BEFORE they move in together if
he really wants to continue to be with her, and if he doesn't - she can give
that problem to his girlfriend.
If Te doesn't agree and you still feel
like doc needs to know, drop an anonymous note.
PS: I hate to hear gay
men say that they only date "straight" men - Shug, if a man bends you over and
there are two sets of balls slappin' against one another - he ain't straight.
Wigs and 3lbs of Maybelline notwithstanding.
If you want advice from Miss
Pearl, send me an email to: email@example.com