Tuesday, August 28th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I am a single mother of three, I hadn't heard from my kids' father in almost a year up until last week. He called me asking me to send him pictures of the kids because he wants to get more involved. I ask him why he's calling out of the blue and he said that he lost my number and didn't know if it changed.

I talked to him to try to find out what his intentions are. We've been talking everyday for a week and one night, I cant remember exactly what the conversation was about, but he tells me he loves me and wants to be with me. Mind you he has a fiance' of three years who doesn't like me and I don't like her, and he recently had a baby with her. We've had a few words in the past. She's always calling cussing at my telling me to leave them alone.

Anyway, I'm just confused about why he would tell me that when I don't hear from in months. He's about to get married and he hasn't been playing an active role in my kids' lives. Do you have any advice for me? Should I still accept his phone calls and send him pics of my kids? Why do you think he's acting this way.

Confused Mama
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Dear Confused,

You got the right name because I'm confused as hell with this gigantic assed contradiction. You say that you haven't heard from him in a year and he says that he didn't call because he didn't have the number - so how the hell is his FIANCE' calling you on a regular basis telling you to leave him alone? Then you say that he hasn't talked to you in a year but at the end of the letter you say you haven't heard from him in months and you want to know why he's calling with this out of the blue?

I'm lost as hell. But let me say this, he's calling you with "this" because it's apparent that you're entertaining his ass. The average mother of three who got a call out of the blue from her children's absentee father would have gone off on his ass for being absent from the lives of his children for a year, she definitely wouldn't be entertaining phone calls from him every day.

When he called your house, the only conversation between the two of you should have been about child support and visitation when the kids are up to it - the rest of those calls should have been between him and his children! What does he have to talk to you about other than to try to feel you out before he eventually asks you to be his "sideline hoe"?

The minute he told you that he wanted you, you should have shut his ass down. He's about to be married, let him be her problem. You have children to concern yourself with. You need to tell him that if he wants to play an active role in the lives of his children that he is more than welcome to it, but other than child support and co - parenting issues, you don't have nothin' for him.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com