Tuesday, August 7th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

My brother dated a girl named Asha for eight years and they have two children. A boy and a girl. They broke up two years ago and me and Asha started messing around on the low, but nobody knew it. She got back with my brother and we started messing around again soon afterwards.

They broke up again last year and I decided to tell the family that I wanted to be with Asha. We got together and she and the kids moved in with me. My mother and brother and sisters have "disowned" me and asked Asha not to come to their homes unless it's to drop the kids off.

Asha wants to get married, and I want to marry her, but my family won't have any part of it. I know that my brother was cheating on Asha, so he didn't care about her anyway, so why is he so upset that I have stepped up?

I think they should get over it. I don't expect my brother to be at the wedding because I don't understand why my mom and sisters won't have anything to do with me.

What can I do to make my family accept that Asha and I are going to be together?

Lost
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Dear Lost,

Did you really expect your family to welcome back into the family, the woman who has not only been a part of the family for eight years as your brothers girlfriend, but also has children with him?

What's wrong with you that, with all of the women in the world, the one you've decided that you want to marry is the one who has children with your brother? Have either of you selfish, ignorant toads stopped to think what your "love" is doing to anyone other than yourselves? Does it even dawn on you that what you're doing is probably the equivalent of a stab in the heart to your brother?

Do you realize that accepting your "relationship" is just as hard on your mother and your sisters because to accept this is to "condone" your relationship and "take your side" even if they don't want to be in the middle? What about the children? Has anyone thought about how confused they must be now that mommy is living as man and wife with their uncle???

What happens when you and Asha have children? Are the children 1st cousins and brothers and sisters? People say that you can't help who you fall in love with, but I say that's a damn lie! You're wrong, and you need your ass whooped, so don't use the fact that your brother cheated on his girlfriend as a justification to get with her - if his relationship ain't right, let him fix it, not you!

The problem is that you're there now and I don't think that you're going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly have some morals. So, all you can do is deal with the repercussions of your actions and not expect your family to accept them, because they probably won't.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com