Wednesday, August 15th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I'm 25 years old and I have an ex boyfriend named Jerren, who I have an 8 month old daughter with. Jerren is a good father, but he lives with his his 19 year old girlfriend who keeps trying to convince him that my daughter doesn't belong to him.

She has called me telling me that my little "ugly" baby isn't Jerren's and she wishes I keep my baby at home so that I could find her "real" daddy, I'm trying to ignore her ass, but Jerren wants to come and pick up our daughter and keep her overnights, and I know him - so his girlfriend is probably the one who is taking care of her.

I don't want this chick caring for my baby because I don't trust her, but Jerren doesn't understand why I have an issue and always goes off when I tell him that he can't take our daughter overnight. I know that this is his daughter too, but should I allow our daughter to stay with him overnight, knowing that the person caring for her doesn't really want to be bothered with her?

Venus
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Dear Venus,

I definitely understand why you have a problem with this because I would too. You're a mother and you're always going to be protective of your child because you should be! Jerren doesn't get it because he believes that the woman who loves him, is automatically obligated to love his child - and that's a process, baby it don't just come.

If this chick is convinced the child is not his and calls a six month old "ugly" and Jerren knows it, I would curse his ass out too! You're better than me because the old Pearl would have snatched that wanch's hair and teeth out and made her a "Chucky" doll with it. You don't have any choice at this point other than to level with Jerren and let him know exactly how you feel and why you feel that way. Hopefully he'll understand what's going on with you and it'll make sense why you don't want your child alone around this woman until she is able to speak up for herself.

I also suggest that you tell him that unless he is going to be with your daughter at all times (which I doubt) then he'll have to bring your daughter back home when he comes to pick her up. I hate to say it like that because most women don't have the luxury of a man trying to be a part of his child's life, but Jerren has to understand that this is not a simple "I don't want my baby around your bitch" situation... this is a "I don't want that particular bitch around my baby because I don't trust her!"

The next message she leaves, or the next call she makes, keep it - maybe that's what you'll need to let Jerren hear so that he'll understand your fears. Just make sure that you reiterate how serious you are about wanting him to have time with his daughter and how much you want them to have a relationship, but as a parent, you have genuine, justified fears.

I sure hope he gets it, and things work out for you.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com