Dear Miss Pearl,
I'm 25 years old and I have an ex boyfriend named
Jerren, who I have an 8 month old daughter with. Jerren is a good father, but he
lives with his his 19 year old girlfriend who keeps trying to convince him that
my daughter doesn't belong to him.
She has called me telling me that my
little "ugly" baby isn't Jerren's and she wishes I keep my baby at home so that
I could find her "real" daddy, I'm trying to ignore her ass, but Jerren wants to
come and pick up our daughter and keep her overnights, and I know him - so his
girlfriend is probably the one who is taking care of her.
I don't want
this chick caring for my baby because I don't trust her, but Jerren doesn't
understand why I have an issue and always goes off when I tell him that he can't
take our daughter overnight. I know that this is his daughter too, but should I
allow our daughter to stay with him overnight, knowing that the person caring
for her doesn't really want to be bothered with
understand why you have a problem with this because I would too. You're a mother
and you're always going to be protective of your child because you should
be! Jerren doesn't get it because he believes that the woman who loves him,
is automatically obligated to love his child - and that's a process, baby it
don't just come.
If this chick is convinced the child is not his and
calls a six month old "ugly" and Jerren knows it, I would curse his ass out too!
You're better than me because the old Pearl would have snatched that wanch's
hair and teeth out and made her a "Chucky" doll with it. You don't have any
choice at this point other than to level with Jerren and let him know exactly
how you feel and why you feel that way. Hopefully he'll understand what's going
on with you and it'll make sense why you don't want your child alone around this
woman until she is able to speak up for herself.
also suggest that you tell him that unless he is going to be with your daughter
at all times (which I doubt) then he'll have to bring your daughter back home
when he comes to pick her up. I hate to say it like that because most women
don't have the luxury of a man trying to be a part of his child's life,
but Jerren has to understand that this is not a simple "I don't want my baby
around your bitch" situation... this is a "I don't want that particular
bitch around my baby because I don't trust her!"
The next message she
leaves, or the next call she makes, keep it - maybe that's what you'll need to
let Jerren hear so that he'll understand your fears. Just make sure that you
reiterate how serious you are about wanting him to have time with his daughter
and how much you want them to have a relationship, but as a parent, you have
genuine, justified fears.
I sure hope he gets it, and things work out for
If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org