Dear Miss Pearl,
My brother is gay and even though I've never had a
problem with his lifestyle, he seems to take pride in making me uncomfortable
with it. You see, Derk moved in with me because he was living with a guy who
kicked him out about two months ago and even though we don't have any major
issues, he is always talking about how many men he has "turned out".
don't have a problem with him being gay, but I have an issue with him always
going after "straight" men. I don't know how he does it, but he will buy them
clothes, pay their bills, and even buy stuff for some of them to give to their
"baby mama's" for the kids. I ask him if he's doing something illegal and he
says no, but he doesn't make enough money at his job to do all the stuff he does
for these guys.
Derk always tells me that he can "turn my man out" and I
tell him that he needs to stop and grow up, but he won't. So, when my boyfriend
comes around, he makes little flirty comments and does stuff like bend over in
front of him and then goes out of his way to touch him. My boyfriend told me
that he is trying to be respectful of me by not going off or hitting my brother
for always touching on him, but he doesn't know how long he can do that without
I told Derk that he needs to stop and he tells me that if I
have my man on lock, that I shouldn't be worried.
Am I being paranoid, or
am I justified in wanting to give Derk an ultimatum?
What you need
to give Derk's troublesome, messy self is a swift kick in his disrespectful
a$$!! Why are you tolerating that mess from your brother if you
wouldn't tolerate your sister bending over in front of your man and
telling you that he is trying to see if he can get him?
allow him to make your relationship a game? If he was a woman and your man
wasn't interested, but she was still on a quest to "see if she can get him"
you'd be ready to whip her a$$, wouldn't you?
Brother or not, Derk is out
of line - and if you've told his a$$ that he's being disrespectful and your
boyfriend has made it clear that he ain't in that lane, then you need to give
him what the last roommate gave him - an eviction notice! I know you love
your brother, but his desire to be accepted and "liked" by any means necessary
(particularly at the expense of his sister) is troubling to say the least and I
suspect part of the reason he was kicked out of his last address.
while I'm on it, why does he need a roommate if he can afford to take
care of somebody elses house? He needs to get his $hit and be gone -
If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: email@example.com