Dear Miss Pearl,
My dad was never a father to me. He was around the way,
but never around. In other words, he lived in the neighborhood, and I would see
him on the block, but most times he treated me like I was a "relative" and not a
son. It was like, "Wassup, kid? How your mama doin?" and just like that, it was
My mom worked hard to take care of us and on more than one
occasion, we didn't have anything to eat. At one point, we got taken from mom
because she left me and my brother at home overnight while she worked because
she didn't have anyone to keep us while she worked overtime.
On a couple
of occasions, I asked my dad to give me money so that I could buy food for my
family and he told me that he wouldn't because he didn't know if the money he
gave me would feed my brothers and sister and he is not feeding another man's
child. Miss Pearl, I got a record contract with a major company and it was over
six figures. My mom is proud of me and she has told everybody about it, but she
made me promise not to run out and try to buy her a house or something because
she wants me to be comfortable financially before I start spending.
dad has found out and has started calling and harassing my mom, acting like he
wants to be a part of my life, but I know that he is only coming around now
because of my new financial status. One time I came home and he showed up taking
all kinds of pictures with me.
I don't want anything to do with him, but
my mom is a Christian and she says that it's not right to do an eye for an eye.
Whose right, me or moms?
Your mother is right, you shouldn't do an eye for an eye
- but that don't mean that you can't! Sometimes people are just not
good parents because they've never had any role models to emulate what parenting
should be, so those people have a bit of sympathy from me.
father doesn't get any sympathy because he was triflin' enough to not give you
money for food because he didn't want your brothers and sisters to eat too?
Whatever, man. He can kick rocks as far as I'm concerned. Don't be mean to him,
don't treat him disrespectfully - but by no means should you give his ass one
red cent unless you want to.
I suspect that your father is
coming around because he has heard about your good fortune and he wants a taste
of that. That's why he's suddenly interested in taking pictures - he wants to
use those as proof that he's your "dad" when you hit the big time - don't let
him fool ya!
If you want to be cordial with him, do so, but be careful
because I suspect that this leopard hasn't changed his spots.
If you want
advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: email@example.com