Tuesday, September 18th - Dear Miss Pearl..

Dear Miss Pearl,

I was dating a guy named Dale for about two years while he was with another woman. I didn't know about the other woman until about six months later when she came from Detroit to stay with him here in Atlanta - with their two children.

At first I was going to continue to see him, but then I realized that I deserved more. Well, after about 2 years of me dating other people, I ran into Dale a couple of times and he told me that he wasn't with the other chick anymore. I didn't believe him, so I started calling him all times of the day and night just to be sure.

He told me that I could come to his house anytime and eventually told me that Letoya (his ex) left and that he has the children. Every now and then, he would ask me to babysit and I was OK with it because I love kids. (They are 7 and 10) Out of nowhere, Dale started telling me that he loved me, which I thought was strange because we hadn't been together in a while - I was just acting as his babysitter.

One thing lead to another and we started dating again about three months ago and he asked me to move in because he didn't believe that it made sense for us to be paying rent in two different places when I was never at home.

Immediately, he signed up to do two shifts, and started going out with his friends while leaving me in the house with his children. It's like I have become the primary care giver and Dale is the absentee father. He is never around for his children. I have to get them ready for school, make their lunch, fix dinner, do their laundry, fix dinner, help with homework and start all over again the next day.

I found out that the reason his ex left is because she started using drugs. I have talked to him and he tells me that he pays all the bills, so I should be glad that all I have to do is take care of the house. But I go to work too and I still have to take care of his children and the house. I was just fine at my own house going to work every day. Would I be wrong to leave since we don't really have sex and when he's not at work, he's out with his "friends"?

Feeling Unappreciated
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Dear Unappreciated,

This is a no - brainer! Dale suddenly fell in "love" and wanted you to move in because he needed a maid, cook, babysitter and tutor for his children - no more, no less!!

You should have known that he wasn't shit when you were dating him the first time and you found out that he had a whole family. Why did you go back? He had his chance and messed it up, but apparently, you were the one who didn't learn anything!

Do you really think that this man is out working or with his friends? He's doing what he wants to do, and he can because he's got a dummy at home raising his children for him. Think about it, he's doing the same thing to you that he did to her... he cheated with you while she was in the house raising the kids and now that you're in the house raising the kids - he's out with somebody else, and calling them his "boys".

He's probably the reason she got on drugs in the first place!

Ruuuuun, girl! Girl, get your shit and go - quickly.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com