Dear Miss Pearl,
I'm 15 years old, and my sister Carmen is 21 and has a
boyfriend named Anthony who keeps hitting on me. When he comes to our house, he
always finds a way to end up alone with me and then he puts his hands down my
pants or grabs my hand and puts it on his crotch.
One day, in our garage,
and he came out there and pulled his penis out and told me that one day he is
going to "put it in me". I keep telling him to leave me alone or I am going to
tell my dad, but he said that nobody is going to believe me and he is probably
See, the problem is that I am a male, and I am gay, and he found
out because I was in a local chat room one time and he was in there too, he
emailed me his picture and I didn't believe it at first. So, before I told him
who I was, he got on cam and showed me his face, amongst other things. When I
told him who I was, he tried to play it off like he was playing, but then he
admitted that it was just his first time and wanted to know if I would keep his
I agreed, but I feel bad because I think he mess with other dudes
on my sister. How can I tell my sister that her boyfriend is gay without outing
myself to my family? My dad would have a fit and I would never live this down.
What can I do?
What a tangled web we've weaved! You have a serious dilemma - do you look out
for your sister and reveal to her that her boyfriend is a bisexual who picks up
random gay men on the Internet, who is also a pedophile who is hitting
on her 15 year old brother, and risk outing yourself at the same
Or, do you keep quiet, continue to be sexually harassed, allow him
to cheat on your sister, but keep your secret in tact? That's a hard
pill to swallow and I can't really tell you which one will work for you, but I
would suggest you confide in your sister - tell her the truth.
not even have to reveal your sexual preference to her because if you
tell her that he's hitting on you, and that he's pulled his penis out, he's
clearly going to deny that it happened, so, I doubt if he's going to go as far
as telling her about you, because the only way for him to know that is
to out himself. If I were you, depending upon what kind of relationship
you have with your sister, I would confide in her about everything - you might
be surprised and could end up with an ally.
Whatever decision you make,
be sure to weigh the pros and cons of each decision - but don't let your sister
get caught up in that drama.
If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send an
email to: email@example.com