Wednesday, September 5th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

My wife was once married to a man I'll call Clarence. They went to school together and remained really good friends after the divorce because their families have always really tight. (his mother and father still hang out with her parents).

I never really had a problem with Clarence because he was before me, so when I would go around my in-laws and he was there, it was uncomfortable for me at first, but eventually, Clarence and I had so much in common that we became sort of like friends (but just when we were around each other, not like we call each other or hang out, it's just when we are around the in-laws, or my wife's family and he happens to show up.

Well, my wife and I moved to another city and we've been here for about 2 years. All of a sudden, my wife came to me and said that her mother told her that Clarence got a job offer in this city too, and he wants to know if he can come and stay with us for about a month just long enough to get on his feet.

My wife doesn't understand why I appreciate the fact that she and her husband are still cordial and have remained friends, but I don't want to live with him. She says I'm being selfish but I think I'm being real.

Who's right?

JG
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Dear JG,

What in hell is your wife thinking? It's one thing to have a husband who is secure enough in his marriage and his manhood to not have an issue with his wife continuing to be good friends with her ex-husband, but it takes a whole different type of man to become friends with the ex as well.

Your wife should count her blessings in that she has a man who loves her enough to welcome the man she was once married to into their lives solely based upon the fact that he knows that the man is important to his wife's family! What the hell makes this dizzy broad think that any man would allow his wife's ex husband to move into the same house with him unless there is some sneaky freaky going on?

Would she be OK if you brought home some woman and said, "this is my ex", she's coming to live with us for a minute? Hell no, she wouldn't. I'd be very careful with this chick because something just ain't sittin' well with me here, I can feel it in my spirit.

Your wife has a lot of nerve - a lot of nerve, and I wouldn't be surprised if she is so upset because she's still messing with this dude. You've accepted the man into your lives because you love her, and for the most part, you have to share your in-laws with her ex by default, but you don't have to welcome his ass into your house. If your wife's family is so concerned, let their asses put up the money so that he can get an apartment on his own.

You don't owe none of these freaks shit!

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com