Friday, October 12th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I just found out some shit that has blown my mind and I don't know what to think. I'm 19 years old and I have an older sister named Tasharon who is in college. We all have the same father, but he is a deadbeat that has never been around. Me and my younger sister don't really care and don't miss our dad, but Tash seems to have a lot of problems with the fact that he don't take interest in us.

The other day, I came home early from work and my uncle's car (dad's brother) was outside but I didn't see him or my mom in the house. When I went to the kitchen, I realized that mom and uncle Rob were in the backyard sitting on the porch. They didn't know I was there, but I could hear them talking through the kitchen window.

Uncle Rob is about to get married, and he was telling my mom that he wants to tell my sister that she is his daughter before he gets married, but my mom kept saying no because she didn't want her daughters to think that she was a bad person if we found out that she slept with two brothers.

So, all of this time, my sister, who has ALWAYS been Rob's favorite, is really his daughter and it makes sense why he always made a difference in us. (mom always said that it's because she's the oldest)

My sister has always had serious problems about men because she thinks that our "dad" abandoned us. I think she would be happy to find out that my dad isn't her dad, and that her dad has always been in her life and I am going to tell her, but I want to know if I would be wrong to do it and not talk to my mom first?

Akira
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Akira,

Mind your own gat damn business! Under no circumstances are you to run to your sister and tell her that she is Rob's daughter because you don't really know if it's true or not! Talk to your mother, tell her that you heard what she and Rob said, and then tell her what you've told me about how troubled your sister is about being "abandoned" by her dad and hope that she will find it in her heart to give her some relief - if it'll end up being relief. Have you thought about the fact that she may be disgusted by the fact that her uncle is now her father and her mama may have been a hoe?

I know that you might be going through some drama yourself because you just happened on this information and it may feel like you're now forced to betray your sister too, but you have to think about this from her perspective - would she rather believe that she's been "abandoned" than to find out that her mom has children by brothers? You don't know, and neither do I.

Talk to your mother, explain how you feel and most importantly find out how she feels - but under no circumstances are you to alter the structure of your family without discussing it with her first.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: Misspearlswindow@yahoo.com