Miss Pearl,
I moved away from home to go to college 9 years ago and I
only go back to visit. I love my family with all of my heart, but my mother is
prejudiced and I don't really come home because she has told me several times
not to bring a white woman to her house and since I'm dating a white woman, I'm
sure you can see my problem.
At first, I thought she was just talking,
even though I knew that she hated white people, but once, I brought my white
college roommate home as we passed through my town on our way to his family home
for the holidays and my mother embarrassed me by saying that she never had a
white man in her house eating off of her forks and she didn't plan on
starting.
My friend turned red and was really hurt and my mother made it
worse by saying that she didn't want him in her house because she deals with
enough "hon keys" at work.
I left and went to my friends house and his
family went out of their way to treat me like I was a part of the family. I even
went into the garage with my roommate and talked about always wanting a scooter
like the one he had in there and his father MADE him give it to me because he
said that he never rode it anyway. I thought that he was kidding, but he put it
on the truck for me to use to get around when I got back to campus. My friend
didn't even want to give it away, but he did it because his parents were just
"like that".
That made me feel worse about the way my mom had treated
him. Now, I'm in a relationship with a white girl and she has asked me what I
want out of our relationship. I know what that means, but I don't know what to
say because I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm in love with a white
girl.
What do I do in this situation, break it off with my girlfriend to
keep my mother from hurting her, or just tell my mother that I'm in love with
her and let her deal with it?
I love my mom, I just hate her
ways
Desmond
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Desmond, if you love
this girl and you really want to marry her, damn what your mama is talking
about, either she'll accept it, or she won't, but you have to tell your
girlfriend exactly what she's getting herself into if you decide to pursue a
relationship that goes beyond boyfriend/girlfriend with her.
Your mother
has made her choices, as ignorant as they may be, but you can't allow those
stupid a$$ed choices to continue to affect the ones you make in your own life.
I'm sure telling your mom that you are with a white woman will piss her off, but
either she'll piss or get off the pot.
Your relationship is about nobody
other than you and the person in the relationship, anybody else is secondary
after you take a spouse. Don't let your mother's ignorance choose who you decide
to love. Tell her country a$$ to eat a ham hock and do you.
If you want
advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com
You are a piece of pathetic sh*t. You are really willing to turn your back on your mother for a white bish. I hope you know that when she really gets mad at you and let you know how much of a ninja you are, you don't go crying to your mother. I hope she disowns your ass and all you people who are on this lets get along and be one mess need to open your eyes because much has not changed. Blacks still get paid less, blacks are the first to be fired, when a black moves into a white neighborhood the whites move out...man I can go on and on and you "new" generation kids are beyond saving. Listen to Pearl if you want and lose your mother. One person who will always be there for you is your mother. That white woman will leave your ass as soon as times get hard. And your sell out ass had to make sure that you got you a white woman...huh? Guess there just weren't enough black women running around. Sell outs like you just kill me. Go run off and have your mutt kids with "pretty" hair.
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous 7:42 your husband/boyfriend must have left you for a white woman? Lol! Love who you want. If you haven't been home in 9 years you've already dismissed your family anyway. God said honor your mother and father not let them run you over and control your life. You can love and honor your mother from a distance. It shows what kind of person she is by the way she treated your roommate. I'd tell her I'm in love with someone of another race. Either she can accept it and treat them respectfully or not accept it and you will keep your distance like you've been doing got 9 years.
ReplyDeleteI didn't get through the whole story or answer...#TiredAsHell Lol But I know how it feels to have someone use a relationship as a means to control you and make you feel bad and/or guilty! And if it's all like that, what type of mother would disown their own child because of who they are dating??? If anything, you should want to keep a close and watchful eye, especially if you think they might be in "harms way"! If he gets "played", he ain't the only one and life goes on! You will never be able to satisfy nor make EVERYBODY happy (no matter what you do), but you can try to do your best to ensure your own happiness! Sometimes people need to just mind their own business, and if it is indeed a mistake, let the person make it and maybe learn from it on their own without forcing your opinion on them! I agree with you 100%!
DeleteMother will forever be mother but U have to do what makes U happy.
ReplyDeleteIt really piss me off when parents try to dictate & live the life of their children.
I agree with Anonymous @ 7:42. If he could only see that his mother only wants the best for him then he would realize the big mistake he could be making. If he hates his mother's reaction, can he imagine the reaction of his girlfriend's white family members. If he knows anything about American history, then he should know the people of Jim Crow did not die when the Civil Rights Act was enacted. From the tone of the letter, you could tell he is embarrassed by his background. The fact he accept the handouts of his white roommate's father, let's me know how delusional this guy really is. When he has a bad day at work because of his skin tone, let's see how much support he can get from a white woman. It is sad but true. I wish him well with his interracial relationship and I truly hope this is not a way for him to have lighter kids with "good hair". Because there are plenty of women of color who could relate to his plights but I digress.
ReplyDeleteYEAH IMA BUT MY 2CENTS IN ALSO. I DISAGREE WITH MS.P AND THE REST OF THE PEOPLE TELLING YOU TO LOVE YOUR MAMA FROM A FAR. U SEE TO MANY BLACKS HAVE FORGOTTEN OUR HISTORY. MARTIN DIDNT DIE FOR U TO MARRY A WHITE CHICK. U WOULDA BEEN SWINGING FROM A TREE IF THIS WAS THE OLDEN DAYS.I WOULDNT FEEL SORRY FOR U EITHER.RACISM STILL EXIST 2DAY. IPERSONALLY THINK U A SELLOUT. READ YOUR HISTORY BROTHER
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