Dear Miss Pearl,
I don't know where to start but I'm just going to start
with the fact that my ex-girlfriend ended up confessing to being a lesbian after
we had two kids together. I flipped out at first, but I didn't try to take my
kids because my moms say she is a good mother which she is.
What piss me
off is she said she knew she liked girls before we even got together, but it
didn't matter. She said she wanted to be with a man because the women she was
with could not take care of her.
So I got this mistrust for women now and
I started cheating them all like a piece of meat and doing my thing, but then I
fell for this chick and we started hanging tight for a minute, then I started
messing around on her. She got close with my kids after we moved in together so,
she would go pick them up from my baby mama house from time to time.
You
guessed it, my ex called me to say that she was sleeping with my gal and when I
confronted her she said she didn't expect it to happen and that she ain't really
gay, but she did it to get back at me for cheating on her the first time and
after that, my ex kept pestering her and she did it again.
I kicked her
out of my house and took my kids from my ex and I told everybody that they
dikes. My 12 year old son is mad at me now because he said I told everybody
about his mother and he wants to go home, but my youngest wants to stay with me,
should I let my oldest son go back to his moms and split my boys
up?
Kearic
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Kearic,
I don't know why
you think that you're any different than your ex, both of you are scandalous as
hell if you ask me. She don't mind messing around, and neither do you, so you
should have stayed together.
It seems to me that your boys will get an
equal dose of immorality no matter which of you they end up with, and you need
to make up your mind which side of the fence you're goin to be on. Either you're
OK with your ex being a les bian, or you're going to get mad and take your boys
from her because of it, but you can't keep going back and forth.
She
definitely ain't $hit for sleeping with your woman,
but that has nothing to do with being a lebby, it's nasty because it's
your girlfriend! You and your ex need to decide what your relationship is going
to be because it's effed up for those kids if you're going to be in a
relationship with a woman who may, or may not play a role in their lives, but
then she can't come around because their mammy the strumpet is going to try to
get with her.
Now, as far as your girlfriend goes, you have to make a
decision. It's one thing to "pay you back" for cheating, but there's something a
little extra immoral about doing it with your ex!!! Let that hoe go, but make
sure that you don't make yourself out to be a victim - you cheated on HER too.
Her issue is WHO she cheated with.
And no, I don't think those boys need
to be separated. Make up your mind where they will live and keep them
there.
If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com
Your telling everybody about the lifestyle of your ladies wasnt the best solution to the situation. So U were wrong about that. Getting some counseling & input from an independent 3rd party might give U some insight about the situation. U stated that she was a good mother. So it's not a bad ideal to split the boys up. Let them spend weekends 2gather.
ReplyDeleteLook there, brother... cheating on your girlfriend didn't make you any more morally superior to her. Gay or straight, cheating is cheating.
ReplyDeleteWhy get your kids in the middle of this crap? They don't deserve that. Take it from me, I know - I was 10 when my mother came out of the closet. My dad kicked her out, accused her of breaking up the marriage and the kids (me and my younger brother) ended up being in his custody. My mother tried her best to continue to be a part of our lives, regardless of his resistance to allow that.
Fast forward to when I was 24. My dad came out of the closet himself; and that day, the truth came out that he cheated on my mother for years before she came out - with other men. Flings here and there. He KNEW who he was, yet he let her take the blame for years.
I blamed my mother for so long for screwing up my childhood, only to find out that my father was the one who was mainly at fault. It took me several years to sort out all this anger, betrayal - as a young adult.
The moral of the story is: don't try to make yourself out to be the fucking saint. So own up to your mistakes, and stop blaming others. You ain't gonna win the respect of your boys by trying to point accusatory fingers at their mother and your girlfriend.
No, what you oughta do is be a MAN and work it out with their mother, and stop cheating on your future wife/girlfriend. That way, your kids will respect you a whole lot more in the years to come. You got a lot of work ahead of you down the road, winning back your kids' respect, though. Best to start NOW, before it's too late.
BTW, I was big enough to accept the fact that both my parents are human beings, and they made mistakes. But I still have way less respect for my father than I do for my mother. In my eyes, his attempt to be the fake "saint" was bullshit, and I still see him trying to pretend being one to this day.
BE REAL, bro. Be real - for your kids' sake, and your own.