Tuesday, October 9th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

My mother has four kids and she is always interfering in our relationships. She thinks that if we don't do exactly what she tells us to do, or if we don't date whoever she tells us to date, then we are not being "good" children and she turns the rest of the kids against us.

Mom has a habit of telling anyone we bring home that WE (her children and our father) are family and that anybody else is going to ALWAYS be an outsider. She has run off more than a couple of boyfriends and girlfriends because nobody wants to stay around and deal with our mother's drama.

She has her picks of which girlfriends or boyfriends she likes and will make sure that the rest of them know it. She told my boyfriend that boyfriend that he is not the father of our two kids because she hates him and wanted him to get mad and leave, or to cause a bunch of drama between us - and it worked.

She buys everything for my children at Christmas and during the year, but when my sister's kids come over, they only get one gift, or she tells them that she will buy them gifts "in January". The kids can clearly see that she treats them differently and one time my son told me that "grandma don't like Resha and them" which are my brother's kids.

I told my mother to stop buying things for my kids if she isn't going to do anything for her other grandchildren, but she told me that she is going to do for who she wants to do for and doesn't think that those children are my brother's and isn't doing anything for them (even though the kids look just like us).

My father doesn't say anything , he just lets my mom do what she wants to do and my brother's and sister just let her get away with it because they don't want to be the next one she gets mad at and turns against. I am tired of the way my mother makes everybody in the family miserable and I have stopped bringing my kids around.

Should I let my mother continue to divide the family, or should I stand my ground?

Tish
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Dear Tish,

You should stand your ground! Your mother has no life of her own, so she has decided to play childish a$$ed games with the lives of her children. She's a manipulator who doesn't understand that she can't "play house" with her children for all of their lives.

Your mother has some serious issues, and involving her grandchildren in those issues is pathetic in my eyes. How she feels about the mates that her children chose should not spill over to how she feels about her grandchildren, and she needs her a$$ whooped for scarring those kids.

I had a mean, miserable a$$ed grandmother and I never got over the way that she had HER picks with my siblings and I too, and it DEFINITELY caused a rift between us. To this day, I have siblings who don't speak to one another because they grew up believing that one thought that she was better than the rest of us because my grandmother MADE her feel that way - and my mother did nothing to stop it.

If your mother can't be a fair grandmother to all of her grandchildren, then I wouldn't allow my kids at her house unsupervised and anything she buys for them will be returned if you believe that there is some malice behind it. If she doesn't like it, tell her to sit her ignorant a$$ down and learn to deal with it!

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com