Dear Miss Pearl,
Tell me if I'm wrong. I was dating Brodrick for 3 years
and after accepting the fact that he would never ask me to marry him, I asked
him to break the ice because I knew that he wouldn't commit if I didn't force
He agreed to marry me, but kept putting off the date until it was
three years later and I was still his fiance. I didn't understand why he didn't
want to just walk down the aisle because we was practically married anyway. We
lived together, have two kids and had been together for six years by then, what
difference did it make if we walked down the aisle and made it
After going back and forth with him about setting a final wedding
date, he started cheating (he says it was because I was putting pressure on him)
and I put him out, but let him come back after he agreed that June 13th would be
our wedding day.
After he moved back in, I found out that he was messing
with another girl after I put him out and this one was 4 months pregnant. He
admitted the baby was his and I put him out and he moved in with her because he
didn't have nowhere to go.
I asked him one last time if he wanted to work
it out and he told me that he was "tired" and stayed with his baby
It hurt for a while, but I decided to pay him back by messing
around with his best friend Jaylen who I met on the same night that I met
Brodrick. I didn't expect for me and Dedrick to be hitting it off like we are
and the $ex is the bomb on top of that, so now I want Jaylen to move in, but he
is playing the same games that Brodrick played by saying he don't want to move
in with me because he don't want to lose his best friend of 14 years over
I think his relationship with me should be more important than a
friendship, but he don't think so.
Am I wrong for expecting him to stop
worrying about what people think and just do
First of all, if you have to ask a man to marry you because you know that he
would never ask you on his own... then HE DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU, SHUG!! Were
you that desperate to be a wife that you would literally force a man to commit
to you? What bride doesn't want a man to get on his knees and profess his
undying love for her? And, I'm not against a woman proposing to a man, but not
to one she KNOWS would never ask HER!
Marriage should be something two
people decide to enter into together - willingly! You don't really think that
marrying a man after you put pressure on him was going to make you a
happy bride, do you? I could use your logic right back
at you... what difference did a piece of paper make if you already had the man
in your house and you had two children with him? You should have waited for all
of THAT $hit and then become his bride, not the other way around!
was putting off the wedding because he didn't want to be married to your a$$,
and you knew that, so why the drama? I'm not sure whether your pressure to force
him to do something that he didn't want to do was the justification behind him
cheating or not, but you took his a$$ back after he refused to set a date and
then he cheated with another woman, and you put him out again and this time YOU
wanted to take his a$$ back - EVEN after he got a broad pregnant and moved in
with her, the issues here are yours, dear.
Brodrick's friend doesn't want
to move in with you because he wants to keep you where you are - readily
available for a late night f*ckin.. no more, no less.
YES, you are wrong
for getting with his best friend because I can't see where that will do anything
other than give Brodrick cause for treating you like a worthless hoe - and the
fact that you're dating the man who was the best friend of your boyfriend of 6
years will make everybody believe just that.
Let this relationship with
Jaylen go, get your self-esteem and your life together and move on. Some $hit
just ain't worth the aggravation. You'll find the right man if you stop trying
to FORCE somebody to be him... let $hit happen.
If you want advice from
Miss Pearl, send me an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org