Wednesday, October 17th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

Tell me if I'm wrong. I was dating Brodrick for 3 years and after accepting the fact that he would never ask me to marry him, I asked him to break the ice because I knew that he wouldn't commit if I didn't force him to.

He agreed to marry me, but kept putting off the date until it was three years later and I was still his fiance. I didn't understand why he didn't want to just walk down the aisle because we was practically married anyway. We lived together, have two kids and had been together for six years by then, what difference did it make if we walked down the aisle and made it legal?

After going back and forth with him about setting a final wedding date, he started cheating (he says it was because I was putting pressure on him) and I put him out, but let him come back after he agreed that June 13th would be our wedding day.

After he moved back in, I found out that he was messing with another girl after I put him out and this one was 4 months pregnant. He admitted the baby was his and I put him out and he moved in with her because he didn't have nowhere to go.

I asked him one last time if he wanted to work it out and he told me that he was "tired" and stayed with his baby mama.

It hurt for a while, but I decided to pay him back by messing around with his best friend Jaylen who I met on the same night that I met Brodrick. I didn't expect for me and Dedrick to be hitting it off like we are and the $ex is the bomb on top of that, so now I want Jaylen to move in, but he is playing the same games that Brodrick played by saying he don't want to move in with me because he don't want to lose his best friend of 14 years over this.

I think his relationship with me should be more important than a friendship, but he don't think so.

Am I wrong for expecting him to stop worrying about what people think and just do us?

Tashana
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Dear Tashana,

Girl bye! First of all, if you have to ask a man to marry you because you know that he would never ask you on his own... then HE DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU, SHUG!! Were you that desperate to be a wife that you would literally force a man to commit to you? What bride doesn't want a man to get on his knees and profess his undying love for her? And, I'm not against a woman proposing to a man, but not to one she KNOWS would never ask HER!

Marriage should be something two people decide to enter into together - willingly! You don't really think that marrying a man after you put pressure on him was going to make you a happy bride, do you? I could use your logic right back at you... what difference did a piece of paper make if you already had the man in your house and you had two children with him? You should have waited for all of THAT $hit and then become his bride, not the other way around!

The man was putting off the wedding because he didn't want to be married to your a$$, and you knew that, so why the drama? I'm not sure whether your pressure to force him to do something that he didn't want to do was the justification behind him cheating or not, but you took his a$$ back after he refused to set a date and then he cheated with another woman, and you put him out again and this time YOU wanted to take his a$$ back - EVEN after he got a broad pregnant and moved in with her, the issues here are yours, dear.

Brodrick's friend doesn't want to move in with you because he wants to keep you where you are - readily available for a late night f*ckin.. no more, no less.

YES, you are wrong for getting with his best friend because I can't see where that will do anything other than give Brodrick cause for treating you like a worthless hoe - and the fact that you're dating the man who was the best friend of your boyfriend of 6 years will make everybody believe just that.

Let this relationship with Jaylen go, get your self-esteem and your life together and move on. Some $hit just ain't worth the aggravation. You'll find the right man if you stop trying to FORCE somebody to be him... let $hit happen.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com