Monday, November 19th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I am a guy but i need a womans opinion on this situation.

I am 18 years old I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years, early in our relationship I found out that I had a 3 month old daughter from another girl. I've been a good father and I provide for my daughter she even lives with me. My girlfriend doesnt have a problem with that but the problem is that the mother of my child recently had another baby for another guy who isnt around and I choose to help her out with that child and it's upsetting my girlfriend.

She thinks that the reason I help my daughters mother with the other child is because I want to be in a relationship with my daughters mother again, but thats not the case.

The reason I help is because I know how it feels to be without. I was once that little boy who sat and watched my siblings dads bring them things and never gave me anything because I wasnt their seed. I would never want to make any child feel the way I felt and I can't seem to get my girlfriend to understand where I'm coming from.

The only thing she says is so what that it's not my child and not my responsibility to care for it. She told me that if I continue to care for the child she doesnt want to be with me anymore..

WHAT SHOULD I DO? IS MY GIRLFRIEND RIGHT FOR BEING MAD?

Alex
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Alex,

Your girlfriend is pissed because she knows that the only sexier than a man who takes care of his children, is a man who takes care of someone ELSES children! With that being said, she knows that each and every time you drop off some diapers for your ex-girlfriend's OTHER baby, there's a coochie coupon just waitin on you from your ex - should you choose to accept it.

Your girlfriend is young and I doubt that she'll come around anytime soon, so I can't really be mad at her for her childish mindset but TRUST me, when she's old enough to appreciate a man like you, she'll look back and want to kick herself in the a$$! There are grown assed men who won't even take care of their OWN kids, so for you to be 18 and accept responsibility for yours AND somebody else's - you've got my vote!

I say give her a little more time, but I wouldn't wait too long on her thought process to change. She's going to be selfish for a minute... if she ever changes. You have to decide if saving this child from the very thing that changed your outlook on life is better, or worse than not having her as a girlfriend.

Honestly, you sound quite mature for your age and I believe that there are PLENTY of girls (and some grown ass women) who would be glad to call you her man. You don't have anything to feel bad about.

Have you talked to your parents? Maybe you need to talk to her mother or grandmother and explain the situation - I'm thinking that some adult female influence will be able to shake some sense into her and help her to realize what a wonderful you man you really are. Get some grown women involved and hope that she changes, if she doesn't change - I'd move around because her next step is to get pregnant on purpose to keep you from having the time or resources to do anything for your ex's baby.

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com