Dear Miss Pearl,
I am a guy but i need a womans opinion on this
I am 18 years old I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years,
early in our relationship I found out that I had a 3 month old daughter from
another girl. I've been a good father and I provide for my daughter she even
lives with me. My girlfriend doesnt have a problem with that but the problem is
that the mother of my child recently had another baby for another guy who isnt
around and I choose to help her out with that child and it's upsetting my
She thinks that the reason I help my daughters mother with
the other child is because I want to be in a relationship with my daughters
mother again, but thats not the case.
The reason I help is because I know
how it feels to be without. I was once that little boy who sat and watched my
siblings dads bring them things and never gave me anything because I wasnt their
seed. I would never want to make any child feel the way I felt and I can't seem
to get my girlfriend to understand where I'm coming from.
The only thing
she says is so what that it's not my child and not my responsibility to care for
it. She told me that if I continue to care for the child she doesnt want to be
with me anymore..
WHAT SHOULD I DO? IS MY GIRLFRIEND RIGHT FOR BEING
is pissed because she knows that the only sexier than a man who takes care of
his children, is a man who takes care of someone ELSES children! With that being
said, she knows that each and every time you drop off some diapers for your
ex-girlfriend's OTHER baby, there's a coochie coupon just waitin on you from
your ex - should you choose to accept it.
Your girlfriend is young and I
doubt that she'll come around anytime soon, so I can't really be mad at her for
her childish mindset but TRUST me, when she's old enough to appreciate a man
like you, she'll look back and want to kick herself in the a$$! There are grown
assed men who won't even take care of their OWN kids, so for you to be 18 and
accept responsibility for yours AND somebody else's - you've got my
I say give her a little more time, but I wouldn't wait too long on
her thought process to change. She's going to be selfish for a minute... if she
ever changes. You have to decide if saving this child from the very
thing that changed your outlook on life is better, or worse than not
having her as a girlfriend.
Honestly, you sound quite mature for your age
and I believe that there are PLENTY of girls (and some grown ass women) who
would be glad to call you her man. You don't have anything to feel bad
Have you talked to your parents? Maybe you need to talk to her
mother or grandmother and explain the situation - I'm thinking that some adult
female influence will be able to shake some sense into her and help her to
realize what a wonderful you man you really are. Get some grown women involved
and hope that she changes, if she doesn't change - I'd move around because her
next step is to get pregnant on purpose to keep you from having the time or
resources to do anything for your ex's baby.
If you want advice from
Miss Pearl, send me an email to: email@example.com