Dear Ms. Pearl,
I am a 28 year old female, who has a 4 year old daughter,
I have been raising my daughter by myself since she was 5 months old because her
dad went to jail for 4 years. When he went to jail I promised him that I would
wait on him and we would still be together and perhaps get married when he comes
I have always taken my daughter to visit him, so she does know her
dad very well. I made that promise because we had never even had problems, we
truly had a great life together when he was home.
Well for the past 3 1/2
years I stayed true to my word, never really dated or had male friends because I
was "in love". About 2 months ago I met a guy that I really like, we have been
spending time together, and I even let my daughter meet him. He knows all about
my daughters father who is now coming home in about 6 months.
never been in a situation like this with 2 guys. I am not sure what I am going
to do, I can't just tell my daughters father that it's over. On the other hand,
what if we have truly grown apart and we can't be together anymore.I am so
confused, what should I do?
Dear Emotionally Torn,
I need to know what your boyfriend did to get 4 years in prison before I
determine that you're dumb as hell for sitting around for 4 years waiting on him
to get out of jail. Did he rob and beat a 73 year old broad, or did he have a
whole bunch of tickets?
I won't call you stupid for putting your life on
hold and sitting around waiting on someone to get out of jail, but if you ask
your mama and some of your girlfriends what they've said behind your
back, they I'm sure they did it enough.
Six months - maybe. A year - I
don't think I could make it, but I don't really know. Four years, you a bad
b*tch - because it couldn't be me! What I don't understand is the fact that you
spent all of these years waiting on this man and then when he's got six months
before he comes home, you decide to start dating another man. What's wrong with
Something is going on that you're not admitting to. Is your
sudden desire to be with another man right before the "love of your life" comes
home more about the fact that you don't really want to be with him when he gets
home, or maybe it's because you're afraid that you outgrew him while he was away
and you're trying to sabotage the relationship by seeing someone else to prevent
having to break it off? Either way, it's time to woman up.
all of this time, so either you're going to be with the man, or you're going to
let his a$$ go. It's quite simple.
If you didn't want to be with him,
then you should have been preparing him for this $hit a long time ago instead of
having him believe that he's coming home to his woman and child, only to find
out that you waited years for him to come home and then started a new
relationship days before he walked out of those gates!
This doesn't make
sense to me because you're trying to convince me that you loved a man so much
that you wouldn't even have a male FRIEND for almost 4 years, but now this new
person came into your life and he's able to cause you to doubt that love in less
than 2 months? I'm not buying it.
Are you sure that you're not trying to
stack the deck by setting your plan in motion to convince your boyfriend that
you were faithful to him and you want to use this letter as "proof" that you
were "faithful" up until 6 months prior to his release when the inevitable point
where he confronts you comes?
If your story is true, then you're here
because you chose to be. You could have waited a few more months and then
decided if he's still the man you fell in love with and if he wasn't, you could
have walked away, you could have also decided that, after a reasonable amount of
time, that you were going to do you and if you got back together after he got
out, fine, if not - that would have been fine too. But you decided to wait until
the storm was almost over to put on your raincoat, and it just doesn't make much
One of these men need to go - its' your job to decide which
If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: