Dear Miss Pearl,
I've been married 2 years, and my mother in law just
moved in 8 months ago. I don't think I can take much longer of her living in my
house. She is an intrusive busy body... Does not know where the boundaries are,
and even if I show them to her, she acts like she forgets!!
I'm tired of
having the same argument with my husband about her, and basically tired of
seeing her in my house. I feel uncomfortable in my own home! To top off the
whole situation, she's here even after she already ruined my life. She had
nowhere else to go, so we had to take her in, but it's her complete fault she is
out of home.
I have a lot of resentment towards her, which is why I can't
stand her in my house. My husband says I’m not wrong for resenting her, but
still wants me to play nice!!! I’m not the "fake" kind of person, so I find that
What else can I do? I’ve tried expressing my issues
with him, but he finds no solution. She is very good at making herself the
victim... and I’m paying. Please help.
Dear Hating Home,
I guess I need
to know the exact reason your mammy in law moved in with you because if she's
broke and has no place to go, I'd say have your HUSBAND explain the boundaries
ONE more time - he has to let her know that the house she lives in, is NOT just
her son's house, it's YOUR house too, and he can't be "nice" about
Hubby needs to let her know that there is ONE queen in that castle
and that queen is YOU, and if she doesn't feel that she has to abide by the
rules set forth by you; either she can find a castle of her own, her son can
help her pay the rent on a castle, she can move into another family member's
castle, she can take her son and they can move into a castle TOGETHER - or
she'll shut the eff up until you tell her that she can speak.
under NO obligation to let someone make you uncomfortable in your own home, and
I don't care whose mammy she is. I'm sure she doesn't want to be there anymore
than you want her there, but she needs to learn how to control her nose... and
her tongue. It sounds like hubby is trying to do the right thing by
allowing mom to come and stay at the house, and even going so far as to say that
he understands that you're unhappy - but he needs to get with mama RIGHT so that
she will understand, and by "right", I mean, tell her what's right and
tell her so hard that she will still be clutching her pearls 5 minutes after he
leaves the room.
If hubby won't do what needs to be done - then
I suggest you step your game up!
If you want advice from Miss
Pearl, send me an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org