Hello Miss Pearl,
I'm a 23 year old married woman with 2 kids, I've
recently started helping a friend who is single with 4 kids. I have no problem
watching her kids and helping them with their homework and making sure that they
eat dinner while she's at work!
I do have a problem with the fact that I
had to call her at a club one night to get in touch with her regarding her son.
It was after midnight and her cell phone was off. This isn't the first time
something like this has happened. She sometimes just leaves the kids at my house
without calling or picking them up.
I will be starting a new job next
week which I will have to commute back and forth with and it will make my hours
longer and I considered not watching them anymore but they will go back to
staying at home by themselves at night which bothers me. I even asked her to
change her schedule to be home with them when they come home from school, but
she refuses. She seems so concerned with trying to get into a relationship and
getting married, that she pushes her kids away and doesn't care about their
She once had her boyfriends daughter come over with her kids and
neither her nor her boyfriend thought to call me or come pick up their
kids....I'm really starting to see that she is taking advantage of our
friendship and my love for her kids too far.
I want her to take
responsibilities for her kids but I know she won't change and the kids will
still end up being at home alone which in the long run is hurting them. What
should I do??
commend you on being such a responsible young woman - a woman who obviously has
more common sense than her friend. Sweetie, being married, with two children and
a husband at the age of 23 is more than many people can handle, so you can't
take on the responsibility of caring for someone elses children because some
ghetto b*tch laid down and made not one, not two, not three but FOUR babies that
she didn't want.
It's sad, but this kind of $hit is NOT uncommon. These
tricks lay down and make babies and expect somebody else to take care of them.
That's why so many of these kids call their grandmama, "Ma" and their mama's
"Pam" - people should not make it easy for these strumpets to continue hoe'n by
taking in their children!
I realize that you must care about these kids,
but you have to ask yourself, "How much strain am I putting on myself by being
the personal nanny to an unappreciative, user/loser like my "friend"? Not only
is she using you, but now she's got one of her men taking advantage of you too!
Where does your husband stand in all of this? How tired must he be of having SIX
children in his home so often? How is this affecting your relationship with
You can't save everybody and I know you don't want those children at
home alone, but this is not your burden - don't tax yourself while this b*tch
"supermanin'" at the club! If you don't want the kids at home alone, then you
need to call child protective services and have them check out their
Either they will:
1) take the children and place them
in foster care (which I would hate to see happen because they may end up split
2) have a family member like her mother, sister, etc take them- where
are their father(s)?
3) the ghetto b*tch will be scared straight and
she'll learn a lesson and act like a MOTHER with some common sense.
sound like an admirable young lady and I'm not trying to dissuade you from doing
what's in your heart, but don't tear down your own house trying to hold someone
elses together. If you know her mother, or her family members, call them. If you
know the fathers, call them and ask them to come and get the kids - I don't
think she'd have a problem with it at all, honestly.
But BEFORE you do
all of this, understand that your relationship with her will change forever, and
two things you should remember about that - it's better for the CHILDREN in the
long run, and she's not that great a friend anyway, because from what I can
tell, you're just a free babysitter.
You have to either talk to her again
if you think that what you say will make a difference.... or you have to call
CPS - but remember, if you talk to her first, she will know that you reported
If you need advice, please don't hesitate to contact Ayntee
Pearl @ Misspearlswindow@yahoo.com