Friday, February 8th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Miss Pearl:

My cousin and I had been pretty close since we were about 9 years old, although we were close, we had our own group of friends. When we got a little older, I became friends with one of her friends, "Megan".

The three of us became close and we did everything together. Eventually, "Megan" and my cousin's friendship became rocky. One minute, they were friends and the next, they were at each others' throat.

As time went on, my cousin and I grew apart. We still kept in touch and talked on the phone occasionally, but we were not as close. "Megan" and I remained close and "Megan" and my cousin were still on again off again.

Earlier this year, "Megan" and my cousin got together and went out and my cousin brought her boyfriend along. When "Megan" got back, she called me to tell me about her evening and I noticed that she kept commenting about my cousin's boyfriend. Two weeks later, she told me that she and my cousins boyfriend had known each other since middle school and had previously dated. Wouldn't you tell me something like that the first time that you mentioned him?

The whole story about their "past" sounded fishy to me, so I confronted her about it. At first she denied it, but she eventually confessed to me that she only told me that lie so I wouldn't look at her differently.

Now, she is 2 months pregnant for this guy and I don't know what to do. My cousin doesn’t know that I know anything about her boyfriend because we don't keep in touch like we used to. I feel like I'm trapped in the middle. No matter what I do, someone will be hurt. If I tell my cousin, "Megan" will be upset; but If I keep my mouth shut my cousin will feel betrayed that I didn't tell her. My gut tells me to stay out of it and keep my mouth closed, but either way I'm still caught in the middle.

Please HELP!!

DISTRESSED in D.C.
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Dear Distressed,

Normally, I would tell people to mind their own gat damned business as it relates to other folks relationships because usually the person being cheated on already knows that, you just THINK they don't know - and usually when you tell, they confront the person and tell the mother fucker YOU told them, then have that person mad at YOU and they STILL stay together - So, at the end of the day, YOU end up the person who is uncomfortable because you don't feel right being around the person you told on - and they WILL stay together.

You have a big problem because Megan is pregnant and she's pregnant by your cousins boyfriend - the question you have to ask yourself is, who do you feel the need to be loyal to? Are you willing to destroy your relationship with Megan by tellin' your cousin that she's a no-good, triflin' bitch, or do you feel comfortable sitting back, letting your cousin continue a relationship with a pathetic bastard who would bag her friend and get her pregnant? You're right, you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

But this is the thing that YOU have to contend with - if your cousin's boyfriend is having sex with Megan, the jumpoff he met while he was with his woman and he didn't use protection - then he's definitely having unprotected sex with your cousin, and I'm sure she doesn't know that with anyone else, so there's a serious health issue that needs to be addressed along those lines.

Lastly, if Megan sat at a table with her "friend" and ended up touchin her toes with her titties floppin in her face and he stood behind her pumpin' and sweatin'... then she's the SAME bitch who will bend over for YOUR man - don't think you're special, boo - she'll screw your man just like she screwed your cousin's - she has no morals, you're her friend just like your cousin is... she slept with her man and just WHY do you think that she'd be loyal to YOU?

So, if you have to make a choice between your blood and a bitch who will apparently fuck her friends man - think about YOUR man... and then do the right thing!

I'd give Megan an ultimatum.... "You've got 2 weeks to tell my cousin... if you don't - I will."

The end... hand me my housecoat off the back of that chair so I can give you a piece of that hard candy I got for you. I hope this shit works out, but it looks like EVERYBODY will lose out on this one.

If you have a question for Miss Pearl, don't hesitate to email me @ Misspearlswindow@yahoo.com