Friday, March 1 - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I don’t see too many letters from men on your site, but I am having so many problems with my girlfriend. I am 32 years old and my boys are not the kind of brothers that I can talk to about stuff like this because they think that being in love is “weak”.

“Nicole” is the best woman any man could have. When I say she is ride or die, I mean that. Nic has stuck with me through thick and thin. When I went to jail for two years, she waited on me. When I didn’t have a job, she made it possible for me to get by.

The problem is that Nic doesn’t trust me. I will admit that I have been a dog. I have even cheated with her cousin and two of her best friends and she even stood by me when I got another female pregnant. I want to do right, but she is making it hard. I’m a changed man. I realized that I wanted to change my life when I found out that one of my homie’s ex-girlfriend has HIV.

I haven’t cheated on Nic in eight months which is saying a lot since I used to mess around at least once a week. Nic doesn’t believe that a man can change. When I’m at work, she constantly calls. She calls when I’m on my way to work and she’s up waiting for me when I get home so that she can smell me.

I don’t know what to make her believe me because nothing seems to work. I bought an engagement ring to show her that I am committed to her, but I haven’t given it to her because she keeps smothering me.

Miss Pearl, how can I make Nic understand that she is being paranoid? I really want to make her my wife.

Devin in Hopkinsville
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Dear Devin,

You created this monster so now you have to make a decision as to whether you want to deal with it. I can empathize with what you are going through, but at the same time, I feel like you deserve some of it.

If worrying about what outrageous thing Nic is going to do next has you teetering on the edge of insanity – imagine what SHE went through not knowing when or if you were going to come home and when you did show up, what you were going to bring back to her.

I commend you on finally becoming a man, but you have done some serious damage to Nic psychologically, and just like she stuck by you, you need to stick by her and work this out. Eitherget into some counseling, or be patient and hope that she finally see’s you, not for the man you were, but for the man you say you have become.

Your girlfriend is angry, and rightly so. She put a lot of trust in you and you betrayed her and, as unfortunate as it is, there are a LOT of women out there who are just like Nic. Women who allow themselves to be walked over, misused, unappreciated and cheated on all in the name of “love”, and then they find themselves participating in humiliating rituals like sniffing a man’s privates. (Put some alcohol on a rag and wipe his little thang down - if it burns, he’s been wearing a condom, if it doesn’t, your man has been good… for that night)

I don’t know what to tell you except, be patient, or be proactive. Personally, I suggest you take her out to a nice dinner plead your case and then get down on one knee and, as HONEST man, pledge to make her an honest woman – then show her your letter to Miss Pearl. I would hope that she will be smart enough to see that you wouldn’t be asking for advice and saying that you’re a changed man, when you didn’t know that I would respond, nor did you know that I would be asking you to read this letter to her.

Nic… I think that even though your man wasn’t SHIT for a LONG time… he is finally ready to settle down – give him a chance… and get your nose out of that man’s crotch… if it’s that serious, get your shit and leave, but ain’t NO man worth your dignity!

If you want advice from Miss Pearl,send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com