Friday, March 15th - Dear Miss Pearl...

Dear Miss Pearl,

I'm 24 years old and I have a problem: I live with my mother, well, allow me to correct that, my mother lives with me. When I was coming up, my mother never had a decent, or steady place for us to live. She was always on some drama, never really had a job and wasn't really looking for one. We stayed in and out of the projects, always got evicted because she was always spending her money on some man and we pretty much had clothes and shoes that were given to us by friends and other family members who felt sorry for us.

From the time I was in the 8th grade, we lived with family members, church members, friends, etc. Then my sophomore year, I told my mom that I wanted us to have an apartment of our own because I was a teen aged girl and was tired of sleeping on the couch of people who had three boys around my age already. She pretty much told me that it was free, so if I didn't want be there, I would have to get a job and find a place of my own.

I got a job and, with me going to school full time, I couldn't make enough money to pay for rent anywhere, so I moved out when my best friend's mom asked me to move in with them. I stayed there for two years until I graduated, but while I was there, I was giving my sister and brother money for clothes and other things that my mom wouldnt' do.

When I went to junior college in our area, I got an apartment of my own finally and my mother showed up with my brother and sister and TOLD me that she was moving in. I let them stay until she got on my nerves a year later and I transferred to another school in another city and told her that I would be leaving in six months thinking that it would make her get up and do something for herself. Low and behold, she followed me here too.

My sister went to the army last year and my little brother graduates this June and I want my house to myself! I have never lived on my own and I'm tired of taking care of my mom who refuses to work and thinks that everyone owes it to her to take care of her. I can't have dates over because she walks around in a house coat with no bra on all day and won't clean up. I can't have privacy because I don't want to disrespect her by having overnight company or anything, so I need to know what to do? She doesn't know anyone in this city really, but she's only 41 years old and can work, but she won't.

What can I do to get her out of my house without throwing her out in the streets because my sister in the army has flat out said that she's not coming to stay with her and my brother is graduating and going to the army, so I'm stuck with her because she believes that Puerto Ricans are supposed to stay together no matter what.

Please help,

Marisela
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Dear Marisela,

What you need to do is grow a set and sit your mother down and tell her how you feel. Tell her that you're 24 and you want to live life as a 24 year old, not as someone who is responsible for taking care of a grown a$$, able-bodied woman who CHOOSES not to take care of her damn self.

As long as you allow her to remain in your house, she's going to stay, give her a$$ a hug, a kiss and six months and put that a$$ OUT! When those six months come, either you move, or she does. Either way, she won't be living with you. It's one thing to have your mother living in your house, but it's totally for her to not contribute anything to the household. Damn, the least she could do is cleanup and have dinner ready when you get home.

Put her a$$ out!

If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: misspearlswindow@yahoo.com