Dear Miss Pearl,
My husband and I have been together for 4 1/2 years, we've been married for two. We don't have any children together, because he told me that he thinks we should wait until we are financially stable, which I believe may, or may not ever come since he wants to wait until we own our own home, etc. I have told him that I don't think that people should wait until they own a home to have a child because if that were the case, neither one of us would be here.
I believe that my husband is a good man, but I think he has probably stepped out on me a couple of times just like most men do, so as long as I don't know about it, I don't worry about it.
On my birthday, I was mad at him because I thought he didn't buy me anything for my birthday, but he called me from work and told me that I had to "find" my gift. I was excited and looked every place I thought it would be and then I went into his jacket pocket in the back of the closet and found it - but it wasn't what I expected to find and I don't think HE expected me to find it.
Miss Pearl, I found a summons to appear in court for child support 3 months ago. I never knew anything about him cheating on me, and I definitely didn't know anything about this baby. I want to confront him, but I don't know what to say. He is going to think I was looking through his things and I know he's going to go off on me.
How can I let my husband know that I found the letter and make him explain his self to me without him getting mad at me?
Dear Worried Wife,
Are you really that surprised that your husband may, or may not have an outside child when you readily admit that you believe that he's cheating and all but give him a pass to do that when you say that, "It's OK, as long as you don't know about it"???
If that's what I'm getting from your letter, then SURELY your husband is getting the same thing, so it's possible that he believes that as long as you "don't know about" that baby, then you're fine with THAT too.
You passive broads KILL me giving your men a pass to do what they do and then when the shit comes back to slap you across the back of your nappy assed kitchen, you want to act like some wounded child. BYE!
Sweetheart, if your husband cheated and possibly made a baby (not many women go through the process of determining paternity and petitioning the courts for child support if they haven't at LEAST had sex with the man) you have to own up to the fact that you gave him a pass to hit them streets.
It's clear to me that the fact that you're afraid to approach your husband about HIS alleged extra-marital affairs means that your husband knows that you're weak. Girl, get some backbone and get on his ass IMMEDIATELY! He has some explaining to do and YOU'RE the victim here, not him - so don't let him deviate from the ORIGINAL issue - HIS cheatin', stankin' ass!
If you want advice from Miss Pearl, send me an email to: email@example.com